Saturday, October 30, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 5: Something You Hope To Do In Your Life

Kids, Theatre, ASL interpreting and Travel.

That is not the order that those things will come in, but those are all things I'd like to do in my life. I also might try and write a book. I'm writing a play script now and that's rough going - but I think that's harder than writing a book. Unless you're adapting a book to a script, that might be easier - I don't know, I've never tried. But it must be fun to adapt a book, it's done all the time for musicals, other straight plays (Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo) and movies (Harry Potter anyone?)

What is with me? I cannot write without having at least one tangent that is mostly unrelated to what I set out to write!

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, babies. Adam and I want kids. We are not going to have them now, no way! We aren't ready and we wouldn't be able to support them financially. Just our luck, with our first pregnancy we'd get twins. We'd like to have a boy and a girl, but we won't keep having kids if we don't get at least one of each, we'll adopt whatever gender we don't have.

Theatre is fun, I love it, I enjoy it and I have a passion for it. I will continue to be involved in it as long as I am breathing.

Right now, I am sure of one thing in my future (besides Adam). I will be pursuing ASL interpreting licensure. I love to communicate in sign and if it turns out one or more of my children are Deaf, fine. We are prepared.

Travel. This is one of the things that is making us hold back on babies for awhile. We both want to travel the world and that gets A LOT harder when you have children. And more expensive. And we'd rather just travel ourselves first. It is startling to think that at this time 23 years ago, my Mom was pregnant with me and was roughly the same age I am now. Yikes.

There are so many other little things I'd like to do in my life. Maybe I should start a Bucket List....


That's it for today peeps, I hope you enjoyed the blogging blitz. Have a safe and Happy Halloween and I'll see you on Monday!

Sanity and Politics - Ha! If Only...

I believe in rational discussion of the issues. And, especially this close to the election, this seems to no longer possible in American politics. I don't know if you've noticed, but with the arrival of so-called "Tea partiers" on the political scene there has been a lot more yelling and dirty politics. (I'm tired of the hate mail coming to my house from the MRP - take me off your mailing list, you lost my vote long ago, at the first piece of attack ad mail we got. I have not received a single piece of mail from the MDP.)

I know that we have "hot-button" issues, but there is NO reason why those can't be discussed rationally. So, in support of sanity in politics, watch the Rally to Restore Sanity going on now on Comedy Central online (no commercials and uncensored - not for little ears!) or on cable (has commercials and is censored).

And then have a rational discussion about the issues (in the comments or in person with someone who disagrees with you) and GO VOTE on Tuesday Nov. 2.

Also, I wish I could embed the video but I can't figure out how to do it....


I have been a little disgruntled with Blogspot's stats, even though I've only been using their stats for a week. So, I installed StatCounter, which has more specificity in it's traffic counting and I like that a lot. There is a chart that shows page loads, unique views and return visitors - that's awesome! And I can look at a map that tells me where-ish my readers are - Hi Cat With Glasses! - and I LOVE that! But here is what confuses me: the chart says that I had 3 return visitors on Thursday, 10 on Friday and 3 so far today.

But when I look at the map thing and click on the pinpoints, only one of them says that it is a repeat visitor. And on another one it says 0 next to return visits, but in the description under Visit Length it says: "Multiple visits spread over more than one day" So wouldn't that fall under return visitor?

I'm so confused.....

....but the chart colors are pretty!

Friday, October 29, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 4: Something You Have To Forgive Someone For

What do I have to forgive someone for?

When I first read this topic, I briefly thought - who do I need to forgive? And went on with my work at the time. Now that I am sitting here, writing, I still don't know who I need to forgive. I can't think of a grudge I am holding against someone, I can't think of anyone who has wronged me recently enough for me to need to forgive. But the more I think more about it, I can think of a few things.

I can forgive the musical director for not casting me in my favoritest (yeah, I know that's not a word) musical ever.

I can forgive a former professor who was such an unholy bitch that made me not like her anymore - when I used to like her almost the best. (This is not anyone in the Theatre Dept.)

I can forgive the idiots who live upstairs for waking me up at 4:30 in the freaking morning because they can't get enough yelling in during daylight hours.

I can forgive a former classmate who I never stood up to, but I should have, for being so high and mighty all the time. (You're so not, I feel sorry for your need to put me down so you can feel better about yourself.)

I can forgive a former pep band member (I suppose I could have centered this post around this) and some others who are so petty they decided to involve a facebook group. I don't have braces anymore, get a new picture and grow up. I know who all of you are, I'm not an idiot, before you made the membership list private - I checked it. All of you can go to hell, I'm better off than you'll ever be, because I don't spend my time hating on other people. And I forgive you for your stupidity - don't let it happen again.

I can forgive someone who was supposed to be my friend, but backed out of my wedding because of a spat that didn't even involve me at the start, but she chose to involve me for some reason. Not that you care, because you never responded to my emails asking your side, but I think your boyfriend is a mooch, a slime ball and he made an ass out of himself - you could do SO MUCH BETTER.

So to those of you who read this and figure out which ones apply to you: I forgive you. But, I want you all to know, I have never been happier in my life than I am right now. A lot of things have happened and I am so excited for the next steps in our lives - without your drama. To take a quote from The Trevor Project - It gets so much better. And it keeps getting better and better.**

**I am not equating my experiences to what many LGBT youth and others go through every day. Please, if you need help, call the Kristin Brooks Hope Center hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE, go to The Trevor Project's website or someone else you can trust. If you have my phone number, call it. If you don't, use that contact me thing on the upper right hand corner of my homepage. Suicide is NEVER the answer.

Broadway Sings for The Trevor Project - "It Gets Better"

LOL, no srsly!


How many times per day do you see that acronym? Think about that for a minute. 10, 15, 50?

LOL no longer means laugh out loud. You may think it does, but it doesn't. Nope. You may think, well, what does it mean? Lots of love? No. Not that either.

LOL now means: "awkward pause, I have nothing else to say." It goes at the end of something that could not even come close to being funny. It's not a response to something funny anymore either, it is a lame way to fill internet "silences".

What is it that makes all humans want to fill silences, internet or otherwise? Sometimes, quiet is nice. Sitting at the kitchen table with nothing other than a cup of tea (or cider, now that fall has decided to show its cold, rainy face) and your own thoughts. It's calming and centering. Life is so hectic, especially during the school year, it's nice to take a break and not do anything but sit there and enjoy the silence. You don't even have to think about anything - just sit there!

Don't sleep and try and say you get the same results. You don't. The peace from a restful sleep is definitely not the same. Sure, you are rested, but are you centered? Maybe if you're the Dalai Lama, but he gets up at 4 am to meditate anyway.

When is the last time you took a 'time-out' and took care of yourself? Let the stress go and enjoy the quiet? I know that for a lot of college students, college is time to study hard and party harder. But what do those things get you? The Freshman Fifteen, hungover and flunking. Not that taking a second to breathe is going to get you an A, but if your brain isn't going top speed 18 hours a day, you might find that you have room for that crazy stuff your professors drone on about.

And if you stop using LOL, you'll stop sounding like a valley girl.

LOL, like totally! *head tilt*

Thursday, October 28, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for

I have two things that I need to forgive myself for. One is much more serious that the other.

First, I have to forgive myself for not saying good-bye to my Great-Grandmother the last time I saw her before she died. I was seven. I don't think I fully understood the total gravity of the situation. How could I? I was seven! But every time I think about her, I regret not saying good bye.

It's like my seven year old self is inside me telling me that I knew that I should have but I didn't want to. I can't let it go. There is obviously nothing that 23 year old me can do about it now. I've tried on numerous occasions to say good bye, through prayer, through thinking about her, through writing about it. Family is very important to me and I feel that I knew that back then, but I didn't know that I would soon be losing a family member. This has been difficult to deal with, and I don't like that I am struck with guilt every time I think about her. I really bothers me, and I know I need to let it go.

The second thing I need to forgive myself for is not as sad. I need to forgive myself for not realizing sooner that Athletic Training was not the career for me. Not that I know any better now that I am a theatre major what I am going to do with my life, which freaks me out (I'm so type A it scares me sometimes). But I need to stop thinking about the fact that I could have graduated much sooner had I not spent three years pursuing Athletic Training after I transferred to Central from Ferris. I could have graduated and probably had, or be close to, a Masters by now if I hadn't spent so much time on it.

I wish that I had figured it out sooner, but there is nothing that can replace the knowledge I gained about myself and about athletic training. I just have to remember that I met some great people while on that path. One of my best friends in the world who stood up with me at my wedding I met because we were pursuing athletic training. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Forgiveness is divine, and what could be more divine than forgiving yourself for past mistakes?

Oatmeal is Explosive

See, I told you so.

This is why Adam should not be trusted to make oatmeal. And why you should follow ONE set of instructions, not stove top AND microwave.... right honey? :-) <3

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 2: Something you love about yourself

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....

I love my eyes, I think they are beautiful.

I love my smile because it's toothy and 99% of the time it is genuine. Rarely do I have to fake a smile for a photo or anything else.

I love the color of my hair. Especially the red highlights that come out when I'm in the sun a lot.

I love my laugh - especially when I can't stop and it makes my abs hurt because I am laughing so much!

I love my work ethic. (Despite my tendencies to procrastinate.)

I love my time management skills. (Most of the time.)

I love being "Jack of All Trades, Master of None" to a point, I can do so many things. I would love to find one or two things I am really good at, but I hate being limited. And on the other hand the future possibilities of what I could do with my life are overwhelming.

I love my creativity. Painting, writing, performing, sewing, singing. Making things!

I love my intelligence.

I love my desire to travel the world.

I love that I love to read. I <3 books!

I love that I love so deeply and fully.

I love my vocabulary!

These are all the things I can think of quickly and I'll write more extensively on Day 30, when I write a letter to me, expounding (I love that word) on all the things I love about me! :D That post might be one that you might not want to read... unless you love me too!

**Note: I may just start posting these 30 days of truth just to get them out, not necessarily because I have nothing to write.

When It Rains It Pours....

As those of you who live in the area know very well, it rained like hell yesterday.

Our parking lot has one storm drain. Right there. In the middle. In that little part that is flat. Can you see it? (Yeah, I can't see it either.)

It's fall (ground breaking observation - LOOK OUT!) and so this drain gets clogged, and this happens...

The poor bastard who is parked weird soaked their engine trying to drive through the middle. Not the best choice....

Well that was the day in Central Michigan, how was the weather where YOU are?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Just Shoot Me.

You know that scene that I said I was performing today?

Well, it went GREAT. (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

I felt like I was really embodying the character and it was going really well. Until I got to the line, "I've got a feeling that this isn't a part of your routine."

And I blank, just completely forget that line. Crap. Crap. Crap. I feel like using stronger curse words, but I want my cousins to be able to read this, if they so choose... Use your best blue streak words for me, you can guarantee I was right after the scene. And in my head as I write this post. I wanted to cry.

I know that my professor won't mark my partner down for my eff up. But my problem is that I had that down before class, cold. We ran lines twice right before we performed and ZERO problems. Geez.

I really wanted to just knock this scene out of the park. Not just because this is Acting 2 - but because I wanted to prove something to myself with the type of scene that we did. Funnily enough the part I probably could have screwed up or had problems with, I didn't.

And this post sucks.

I'm going to class now.

P.S. On the other hand, singing in Capstone went really well and I feel MUCH better.


Always watch oatmeal when it is in the microwave - it blows up - true story.

Check your e-mail before you get to campus, class might be canceled. You think I would have learned by now.

Honey makes oatmeal better - yum.

I want it to snow really bad, but all we get is wind and rain.

But I like thunderstorms.

Oatmeal is hard to eat fast.

Theatre classes are harder than you think.

Today is Day 16 so I'm doing Cardio X this afternoon.

GLEE IS BACK TONIGHT! OMG! OMG! OMG! (Sorry, had to get that out of my system...)

I have to perform a Shakespeare monologue on Thursday and I can't get the last 4 lines in my brain to stay.

Admission: some of you may have seen my Day 2 of 30 Days of Truth on accident, please ignore it, it wasn't finished.

I have a scene in 10 minutes, wish me luck!!

I will add more random thoughts when I think of them.

More Random:

I feel bad for posts that don't have as many views!

I AM SO EXCITED!! I HAVE 30 VIEWS TODAY AND 69 ALL TIME! (haha, 69! Sorry, immature.)

Monday, October 25, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 1: Something You Hate About Yourself

A lot of bloggers are doing the 30 Days of Truth. This is where every day a blogger answers a preset question(s), which are listed at the bottom of this post. So, I am jumping on the bandwagon - WOO. Basically, when I have nothing that I can think of to write, you will see one of these posts.

Oh, look! One of those posts! The only thing really interesting that happened today was that we had Chinese for dinner - thrilling right? Soooooooo...... here's Day 1! Oh, and give some love to Wide Lawns, she went in to get induced tonight - Congrats to the Wide Lawns family on the new arrival!


Day 1: Something You Hate About Yourself

If someone had asked me this question in high school, I probably could have listed something wrong with every part of me and gone on for days. Now, it's a little harder - mostly because I have better self esteem than I ever did in high school - but there are still things that bug the crap out of me.

My metabolism. Before, I would have simply said "my weight." But it's more than that. I have a slower metabolism and a thing for baking/eating sweet stuff - not a good combo. But I can't control my metabolism and I try to let my frustrations with it go. I also don't want to stop cooking yummy things!! I just have to try and make the yummies as healthy as I can, but sometimes it just isn't possible. This is when I eat some of my weekly points and workout a little longer. I was most frustrated with this last March (2010) just before I joined Weight Watchers when I had been working out for 3 months, watching what I ate and had managed to gain 20 lbs. I was PISSED.

My belly fat. I hate my belly fat. Period. It takes no explanation.

Next up on the hate parade is my inability, in some situations, to keep my mouth shut and let people finish. I have been working on this, but I HATE that I just can't seem, in some situations, to let people finish. It's like I have a contest with myself to see if I can guess what they are going to say next or something. AND IT HAS TO STOP. I know it annoys the people this applies to and it annoys me. Frick on sticks!

And lastly, despite my good self esteem, I just can't seem to stand up for myself enough. I think about what I could say to certain people who tread on me, but I just never seem to do it when I need too. Some of you know EXACTLY what I am talking about. I just don't want to come across as a bitch, but I also don't want be a doormat. Screw that. I am too amazing for that crap. (Humble, right?)

On that note, I have come to the end of the things I hate about myself. At least, these are the ones that I can think of. And if I only hate four things about myself, I'm doing pretty good for a human, don'tcha think?


30 Days of Truth

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself
Day 2 - Something you love about yourself
Day 3 - Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4 - Something you have to forgive someone for
Day 5 - Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6 - Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7 - Someone who has made your life worth living for
Day 8 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit
Day 9 - Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted
Day 10 - Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on
Day 13 - A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days (write a letter.)
Day 14 - A hero that has let you down (letter)
Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it
Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without
Day 17 - A book you’ve read that changed your views on something
Day 18 - Your views on gay marriage
Day 19 - What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 - Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life
Day 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 - The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 - Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 - What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 - What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 - Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 - A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Thanks to Eleni Zoe from Hope Dies Last for the full list.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I lied.

Sorry, I did. I forgot that I go to Swing Kids on Sunday nights, and that counts as exercise AND fun. So there is something fun enough to make me exercise on a Sunday. Just not "regular" exercise...

If you go to CMU, check it out, Sunday nights at 7 at Finch. Good times!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Day 13 - I don't start on Day 1

No, you aren't seeing things, this is the first post, but it's day 13 for me on P90X doing the Lean program. For me, Saturdays are Kenpo X and I love it. Kenpo X is P90X's name for kickboxing, not sure why...

Anyway, Kenpo X is a lot of fun and if you have any pent up anger or anything, it's definitely the way to go. I've tried to put a finger on exactly why I like it so much - but I can't. All I can tell you is that I am excited to work out on a Saturday. Normally, in the past with other workouts (e.g. the gym), I would find excuses to not to work out. The weather sucks. I'm tired. I have too much homework. AKA, I was lazy. (And I still am) But KenpoX is so much fun I love to work out on Saturday mornings.

Thank God my rest day is Sunday, I don't think there is anything fun enough to make me want to work out on Sunday. Come on, even God rested on the seventh day. (Even though it's day 14 for me tomorrow.)

I also weigh in on Saturdays. Because way before I started P90X, I joined Weight Watchers. And not because Jennifer Hudson started doing it - I pre-dated her, HA. Sorry, anyway, I quit going to the meetings because I, a broke college student who is married to another broke college student, couldn't afford the monthly/weekly fees. And it seemed frivolous to spend that money there when I could use it to save for Study Abroad for next semester. (I'm only going for a week, like I could afford to Study Abroad for a semester. Pfft.) I'm still following the Weight Watchers program however. I track my points and exercise, etc. It's so easy, why wouldn't I?

Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, "Jenny, if you wanted to save money for Study Abroad, why would you buy P90X? That is really expensive and broke college kids can't afford it." Well, this is where my mad baking skillz come in. A friend of mine was in a car accident a year ago and was told she would never walk again. She told the doctors, and I quote, "F*ck that, I'm walking again." And she is. But, because of that accident, she can't do P90X. So, in trade for the DVDs, I baked her some apple pie - YUM. So, here we are, Day 13. (The pie trade was her idea.)

Wow, tangent. My bad. Anyway - weigh ins on Saturday. So, I weighed in today and I gained 0.4lbs this week. Suck. But that's what yummy food that you don't calculate the points for before you make them and eat them. The Pioneer Woman has some delicious recipes but they aren't exactly low point foods, not that she pretends that they are low fat recipes. For the first time ever I actually ended up eating some of my activity points this week, which blows. Poor planning is not your friend when you are trying to control/lose weight.

And I would like to leave you with a thought: Not all low-fat/no-fat food sucks. Except Neufachtel Cheese. I do not like that crap.

Ok. Good night! (And by good night, I mean, I'm going to go do homework.)