30 Days of Truth - Day 30: A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Dear Jenny,

You are amazing.

The End.

Love,

You.

It seemed a little silly to expound on this.  I think that I already did this in day 2 or 3, with the Things you love about yourself.  I am perfectly happy the way I am and I think that this post is just superfluous to me.  But I wanted to finish the 30 Days of Truth. 

Even if it took me 3 months.

30 Days of Truth - Day 29: Something You Hope to Change About Yourself, Why?

I think it is too easy to say that I want to change my weight.  Soooo.......

I want to change my eating habits.  I want to eat healthier, consistently and I have problems getting all my veggies in!  I love a lot of vegetables (not broccoli or cauliflower or a few others) but I love bell peppers, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes (have you ever had pear tomatoes? OMG, they are like CANDY!) and many others.  So, liking them is not the problem.  Remembering to eat them is.  And I'd like to fix that!  But it's hard.  And salads get boring.

I'd also like to get into an exercise routine that happens at the same time every day.  But surprise! Since my schedule changes every 3-4 months, it's hard to find one time that can be consistent that isn't 4am.  I have a few friends who get up that early to work out and I hold great respect for those wonderful people, because I can not get up that early and only have four hours of sleep.  I get home too late from rehearsal to do that.  Even if I came home from rehearsal and went straight to bed (to get up at 4), I would only have, max, on the earliest night, 5.5 hours of sleep. No.  I can't not have 8 hours.  I get grouchy, and it's better for you to get 8 hours.

I also would like to not judge too quickly.  Sometimes I do, and several times I have come down on the wrong side of it.  I have already started working on this, and I think it's going well so far.

Otherwise, I'm pretty happy with myself, and the person I have worked so hard to become.

30 Days of Truth - Day 28: What If You Were Pregnant, What Would You Do?

If I got pregnant now, I would FREAK OUT. And not in a good way, because it would be a complete and total accident. And because of that, I don't know what else I would do, beyond freak the hell out.

Now if we were talking a planned pregnancy, I would be super excited. I want to have kids, I really do, just not now. We don't have the time, or the smallest inkling of the kind of income we would need to have a child right now. When we aren't in school full time anymore and at least one of us has a job that allows us to have a more financially sound future and allows us to save a little more than we have now we'll start talking about kids.

But that time is definitely not now. This is going to sound totally selfish, but you can't fly in your third trimester, and I wouldn't be able to go to Ireland if I got pregnant now.

No babies.

30 Days of Truth - Day 27: What’s the Best Thing Going for You Right Now?

I don't particularly understand what the question wants to hear....  so the best thing going for me right now is the end of the semester, I suppose.  It's going to be amazing when the semester ends!  I won't have any school work and I won't be insanely busy for the first time in 16 weeks.  21 credits is murder!  But I have managed very well all semester.  I don't know how, but apparently I'm pretty good at time management, that's good to know. 

I am hoping to 4.0 this semester for the first time in my college career, and I have been working my ass off trying to make that happen.  Unfortunately one class looks to be standing in my way, with an A- (if I get 100% on the two remaining papers that haven't been graded yet, the final and all the participation points) and that is Musical Theatre History.  Damn it.  I know that a semester 3.9 is nothing to be ashamed of and I would be ecstatic under normal circumstances, but to get so close and fall that tiny bit short is hard.

But soon, a new semester will be upon us and I will have a shot again at a 4.0 semester and only 18 credits to contend with instead of 21.

30 Days of Truth - Day 26: Have You Ever Thought About Giving Up On Life? If So, When and Why?

No.

I have never, and I hope I never have a time in my life that I consider that. 

And, if you are considering that alternative, DON'T.  Life will get better!!  Call the Kristin Brooks Hope Center hopeline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), use their online support or email support!  Suicide is never the answer.

What a depressing topic right before Thanksgiving....  but this song is amazing!

30 Days of Truth - Day 25: The Reason You Believe You’re Still Alive Today

Because it's not my time yet.

I don't know what else they expect us to say here.  I suppose that if someone had considered taking their own life, they could write something better than I have to contribute to today's topic.

So, with that, I'm going to say, I haven't completed my life's work yet.  I still have something, or somethings, to do in this world.

I don't know what it is, exactly, yet.

But you can bet I'm going to figure it out and do it!

30 Days of Truth - Day 24: Make a Playlist to Someone, and Explain Why You Chose All the Songs

Five years and about four months ago, I met a boy.  His name was Adam.  He was cute, funny, smart and older.  About one month after we were officially dating, it was Sweetest Day.

This was the only time that I have truly celebrated Sweetest Day.  It was a week after Adam told me he loved me, but I had been planning this longer than that.  I love to plot and plan surprises, and at the time I had the money to spend to be able to surprise him.  So, at the time Adam was renting from his parents and I borrowed the extra key from his Dad, and on Saturday morning of Sweetest Day I got up really early and snuck in to the house and made him a surprise breakfast.  Pancakes, bacon, sausage and eggs.  I brought juice and made him a mixed CD for us to listen to while we ate.  I was trying to be really quiet, but the smells of yum and light scrapings woke him up; he's a light sleeper.  So, he came down before breakfast was ready, but he was still surprised.  I also gave him my class ring to wear that day (he had lost his but found it two years later.)  It's one of my favorite memories of us from early in our relationship.

But in line with today's topic, here is the list of the songs from the CD I made him for Sweetest Day.  Needless to say, they are all sappy romantic songs...

Adam's Sweetest Day Mix

1. I'll Be - Edwin McCain (which eventually became our song and was our first dance at our wedding)
2. I Swear - the country version, not the All4One version because I couldn't remember who did it first
3. Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith
4. Long, Slow Kisses - Jeff Bates
5. Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You - Frankie Valli
6. That's What She Gets For Loving Me - Brooks and Dunn
7. Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
8. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
9. God Blessed the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts
10. Have I Told You Lately - Rod Stewart
11. I'll Go On Loving You - Alan Jackson
12. Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
13. I'll Be There For You - Bon Jovi
14. Amazing Grace - Celine Dion

Of course, it was after this that I found out that Adam doesn't really like country.  But, he still loved the CD and the surprise. :-D

30 Days of Truth - Day 23: Something You Wish You Had Done In Your Life

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm not really old enough to have any true regrets of things I have or have not done.

But!  I do wish that I had been more active growing up.  Not necessarily in team sports, but in general, to take care of myself at a younger age and be healthier and fitter (is that a word?).  I think if I had gotten into a routine earlier in life it would be easier now.  Being healthy is hard.  But I also wouldn't have the same appreciation if I didn't have to work so hard at it.  Except, being healthy makes me tired, everything that I have to do.  Work out for at least an hour a day/six days a week.  Precisely measuring every portion size, counting points and sometimes restricting myself even if I really want pizza from Jet's (1 pepperoni slice = 7 points) or an Italian Night Club from Jimmy John's (one entire sub = 23.5 points, the Vito = 13.5 points)

And ice cream!  I love ice cream, but 1/2 cup of regular ice cream is 6 points!!  Thank God for Kroger Deluxe Ice Cream Light (3 points for 1/2 cup).  I mean, who eats only a 1/2 cup of ice cream at a time!?

Anyway, I am tired and I am going to bed.  Go vote for The Williamston in the Pepsi Refresh Project!

30 Days of Truth - Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life

I think we all know that I wish I hadn't stuck my head in the sand when it came to my unhappiness with athletic training.

I have a tendency to obsess over things I say or do, no matter how small, if they feel weird when I reflect on them.  And there are way too many of those to enumerate on.  So, just as a general idea, there is something at least once a month that I wish I hadn't done. 

I'm too young to have any huge regrets, and I hope that I never have any of those - just the small ones that make you cringe.

And here, once again is a shameless plug for The Williamston Theatre - go vote for them at the Pepsi Refresh Project!!

30 Days of Truth - Day 21: (scenario) Your Best Friend is in a Car Accident and You Two Got Into a Fight an Hour Before. What Do You Do?

First, this is my last 30 Days of Truth post and it makes me all caught up!! YAY!

Second, this is so sad!  I don't want any of my friends to get in a car accident :-(

If I argued with one of my besties an hour before they got in a car accident, I would, no matter how severe our argument, get to the hospital immediately. Or their house, wherever they were.  Actually, I'd probably have to have Adam drive me, because I would be so upset.

I would find a way to get there, no matter what, fly, drive, run, anything.  I take my friends and family relationships seriously, I don't screw around with those.  They are the most important people in my life.  Whatever disagreements we have are superficial to life and death.

I'd probably also buy them something, but not anything that could mean anything more than my being there for them. 

I hope I never have to find out though.

30 Days of Truth - Day 20: Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol

I personally have never experimented with drugs.  I have taken drugs prescribed to me for various things and some of those have been... interesting... but I have never purposefully taken a drug - legal or illegal - for a high.

Alcohol is fine in moderation.  I enjoy an alcoholic beverage now and again.  I think some of them are rather tasty.  There are others however that are not so tasty.  The tasty ones are the ones you have to watch out for.  I have been drunk - really, really drunk once.  And by really drunk I mean I have thrown up once from drinking.  Nicole's birthday of this year (2010) Lee made Piña Colada martinis - never again.  I had fun up until I drank too much, then it wasn't fun anymore, everything was fuzzy and moved way too fast.  Never again.

Anyway, I'm not here to judge, but drinking just to get wasted and forget is not the way to go.  You know how you forget when you do that?  You kill brain cells.  Bad news bears.

Also, please, if you choose to get effed up on alcohol and/or drugs, don't get behind the wheel.  Save a life and take a cab. 

And eat Cabin Sticks - YUM.

30 Days of Truth - Day 19: What Do You Think of Religion? Or What Do You Think of Politics?

I think that everyone has their own beliefs about religion and politics and I believe everyone deserves to have their own opinions.

As for religion, I was brought up United Methodist and I have my own opinions that I have formed later.

I personally believe in a higher being and I think that higher being put us here and let us run amok as a giant scientific experiment.

Politics, I was brought up to think for myself and I am very socially liberal and fiscally conservative.  I am not trying to start arguments, but that's what I believe.  And I will be more than happy to have a nice calm debate, but any irrationality, attacking or "shouting" will not be published in the comments.  And if we are debating face to face I will walk away the second you start to attack me for my beliefs.

Religion and Politics, ah hot button issues....

30 Days of Truth - Day 18: Your Views on Gay Marriage

I fully support the rights of any two people who love each other to get married.

I don't think it takes any more explanation than that.

The bigotry in this country and the hate in this country is ridiculous.

You know what ruins the sanctity of marriage?  People who get married to quickly and instead of working through their problems they have, they sign the divorce papers and go along their merry way. And then repeat the cycle over and over.

Ugh.

Gay people have just as much right to get married as anyone else.

30 Days of Truth - Day 17: A Book You’ve Read That Changed Your Views on Something

There's no book that completely changes my views on anything, but I did read a book at that reinforced my beliefs about the fast food industry.

Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the American Meal by Eric Schlosser re-affirmed my belief that Fast Food is the worst idea ever, at least what it has evolved into.  Read it, it will change your life.  I have not eaten at a fast food joint since I read that book and I have been so much happier and healthier since then.

It's disturbing.

Read it.

30 Days of Truth - Day 16: Someone or Something You Definitely Could Live Without

1. Drama (not the theatre kind but the kind theatre people create outside of a play)
2. Being sick (ugh, I am miserable!  I am working on a great fever, so exciting, right?)
3. People I love dying
4. People I love being idiots
5. People who are mean to me or people I love
6. People who use scapegoats instead of admitting they effed up, or don't know what the hell is going on.
7. Not getting cast in things - I like being cast, it's fun.
8. Bigotry
9. Sexism
10. Extremism
11. Violence of any kind (that's right, I'm talking to you a-hole upstairs)
12. Sarah Palin (why won't she go away?!)
13. Fox News "op-ed" people
14. Asinine behavior in politics - by anyone.
15. People who attack others for their beliefs, not cool.
16. People who choose ignorance over learning something and forming an opinion instead of believing what others tell them to.

Well, I that's all I can think of at the moment, I'm sure there are other things that irk me.  If I think of them, I will add them - just for you!

Thanks for sticking with me through this blogging blitz, I am only four days of truth away before I am caught up.  As for now, I am going to go to bed, I mean sleep, I'm already in bed.  Wish me luck in getting better!

30 Days of Truth - Day 15: Something or Someone You Couldn’t Live Without, Because You’ve Tried Living Without It

I think we're pretty established that I need Adam in my life, so I won't elaborate on that.

I think we all also know that I need to have theatre in my life, so I don't really need to elaborate on that either.

Hmmm, I can't think of other things I've tried living without that I couldn't survive without.

I can tell you what I can live without!  But you'll have to go to the next post to read them.

That's all I've got for now, I am sure there are other things that I can add later :-)

30 Days of Truth - Day 14: A Hero That Has Let You Down

Dear Hero,

I don't really have a specific person who I want to be exactly like, so I don't really have a hero that let me down.  But I can talk about people who do things I want to do.

I want to be able to be home at least part time to raise my kids, like my Mom. (love you Mom!)  I don't want to stay home full time though, at least not all the time.

I'd also like to do lots of baking, like my grandmothers do.  I collect all of their recipes as I can, and I love them (and their recipes!) so much!

Kari Odland has been a big influence on me as well.  She recently got a new job and moved, but she was my biggest support, after Adam, when I first went to her and told her I wanted to leave ATEP.  She helped me work through a lot of issues I was having and I appreciate her being there for me. She's amazing, and wherever she is now, I hope she's as happy as I am.

Not a whole lot here, but if I think of other things, I will add them.

Love,
Jenny

30 Days of Truth - Day 13: A Band or Artist That Has Gotten You Through Some Tough Days (write a letter.)

Dear Music,

This letter is supposed to be about a particular band or artist that helped me through a difficult time. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are several songs either got me through a time or were just a soundtrack to a certain time in my life.

For example, in 2001-2002 I went on vacation with my family to Florida over Christmas Break and listened to Britney Spears' self-titled Album: Britney on repeat all the entire way down and back, in the van. I also read the very first Princess Diaries book by Meg Cabot over and over and over and over again. Not a hard time, but a good soundtrack at the time!

There was a mixed CD when I was in 8th grade I think, that I listened to during hockey tournaments for Matthew the whole year. I don't remember what was on it, other than a lot of rock music - there was one Rob Zombie song that I remember. Living Dead Girl, I believe it was. Excellent soundtrack!

When I dislocated my left knee cap the first time I watched Bring It On a lot of times, and Air Bud. And one time when I had strep throat I listened to Aaron Carter's CD on repeat for like four days.

Girl Scout Camp always had a lot of fun weird songs that we sang while we were there and those were fun too...

But the most recent time in my life that music has helped me was the big change I went through about a year ago, deciding to leave ATEP and athletic training and change my major to theatre. It will sound silly but Defying Gravity by Stephen Schwartz from Wicked helped me through a lot of what I was struggling with at that time. I heard the song before Glee did the song, but Glee helped me a lot in that it made me realize exactly how much I missed singing - and performing in general. It didn't make me decide to pursue theatre, there were other factors involved in that decision. I know that I always want to have theatre be a part of my life, whether I do community theatre or regional theatre forever - I don't care. Life sucks without the arts, I know that now.

[SIDE NOTE: Go vote for The Williamston Theatre at the Pepsi Refresh Project!!]

Defying Gravity's lyrics spoke to me and gave me courage to do what I should have done long ago. Realize exactly how unhappy I was in athletic training, and that I needed a change. I am so glad I made that change! I know I say that a lot, but it is still fresh for me and every day something reminds me about how awesome my life is now because I left ATEP and changed to theatre.

Music, you have been a wonderful companion to me, and I love you very much! Please continue to love me and support me all the time...


Love,
Jenny


P.S. I am sick, so if you could come up with a good get better song, I'd really appreciate it! kthxbai!

30 Days of Truth - Day 12: Something You Never Get Compliments On

I don't know!  My shoe size?

That seems a weird thing to be complimented on. 

I also never get complimented on my blogging skillz.  But I don't really talk about it a lot either.

I'll edit this post if I can think of anything that I like about myself that I never get compliments on.

Short post.  Hmm....

PIE!

Just checking to make sure you were paying attention! :D

Aaaaaand: Make sure to go vote for The Williamston Theatre at the Pepsi Refresh Project!!

30 Days of Truth - Day 11: Something People Seem to Compliment You the Most on

Am I supposed to write about the external things compliment me on?  Or talents?  I suppose I could do both?

Well, I have been routinely told that I have beautiful eyes, so that is always nice to hear.  I like them, so I'm glad other people do too.  I also have recently been getting comments on how much thinner I look - which I also love!  And it's fun to joke and be "upset" and says something along the lines, "I looked fat before?!"  Ah, jokes....  I'm never serious about it when I say that, so please don't be all offended if I say that to you after you mention that to me.

As for other compliments, I have been complimented on my singing voice a lot recently, especially on my improvements since I took a vocal techniques class last semester.  I even have noticed how much better my projection is since I took that class.  Which is great, because I love to sing, and, obviously, I want to keep getting better at it!  I also have been getting some compliments on my improv abilities as of late, which I also appreciate, because I have felt a little apprehensive in that area.

I am loving my classes this semester, even though I have several "performance" classes, and it's been a little crazy at times trying to remember all of my lines (see Just Shoot Me),  I have been having a blast.  I have learned so much this semester, become much more confident in my abilities and I am looking forward SO much to my future opportunities. :D

P.S. Please remember to support The Williamston Theatre and vote for them to get the $50,000 grant!