Happy New Year! 2012 Edition

I guess I'll follow suit and write about the New Year today....

I am so glad to kick 2011 out the door.  There were some wonderful highs, but mostly the year was a turbulent ride of lows. In the last few days of 2011, various memories of the year were flashing through my head, and to say good bye to 2011, I want to share a few with you.

My Dad, next to my Mom's hospital bed, holding her hand, just looking at her, watching, make sure she would get everything that she needed.

My Mom, standing up at my graduation when they asked all the parents of the graduates to stand!  I love you, Mom!

Finally finishing college and earning my second degree!

Many, many memories of my wonderful trip to Ireland. My first flight, the gorgeous landscape in Doolin and the busy streets of Dublin. What a wonderful trip, and I look forward to doing more travel in Europe in the future!

Moving into Spartan Village (bad)

Moving out of SV and into our house (good!)

A friend of mine being diagnosed with cancer for the second time.

My maternal grandpa having some health issues.

My paternal grandpa being diagnosed with cancer for the third time.

Running in my first official 5K!

Adam passing out on me after crashing his bike.

Riding my first 100 mile ride (century)!

Courtney got married!

Making my 10% weight loss (again)!

Being unemployed

Finding a temp job that I love!

And adopting the mostest adorablest dog, evar!

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Now that that's done, things I hope to happen in 2012!

I am within range that if I stick to it, I will be at my goal weight sometime in 2012.  Probably not by my birthday, but close.  I am so excited. Even though many people think 135 lbs is too low for me, it is smack dab in the middle of my healthy range for my height. I plan to try to get to 135 lbs, and if I can't maintain that, then I will be more than happy to gain a bit to stick around in the 140s.  Unfortunately, I will probably be able to gain that easier than Adam is able to put on the weight he needs to put on...

And job stuff. That I can't talk about yet.

No hospital visits needed for anyone! (Except birthin' babies, that's ok. And no, I'm NOT pregnant)

Some monetary goals that Adam and I have.

Also, Lions should win the Superbowl!

Just have fun.

2012, let's have some healthy, good, old-fashioned fun!

http://departments.bloomu.edu/solve/img%5CKidsFun.jpg

"Every day is full of opportunities, how will you make a difference today?" -DB

I'm Dreaming of a Whiiiiite Christmas!

Tuesday I started writing about why I love the holiday season, so if you missed Part 1, you can read it here.

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I know they’re all kind of mixed together, the traditions and reasons why I love the holiday season, but bear with me, I tend to write as though I am having a conversation with myself. I am not crazy, promise. I don’t talk out loud to different selves while I write.

Anyway, another tradition I love is all of the Christmas specials. A Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Santa Clause is Coming to Town. I love them so much, that one year, I bought a couple of boxed sets that had those in them! With the exception of How the Grinch Stole Christmas which I bought separately, they were all in there. A Charlie Brown Christmas was actually in a boxed set with It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. So now the holiday movie tradition is to watch the Great Pumpkin on Halloween, CB Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving night.  Of course, after hosting my first Thanksgiving this year, I almost slept through the whole thing.

While I was in school, Christmas break was a wonderful time to chill out, not deal with school and hang out with family. I loved that. Now that I am growed up, this will be the first Christmas that I don’t have 2-4 weeks off around the holidays. (I have 5 days this year, but I am perfectly ok with it, because it’s more than many others in the work force have and I am just glad to have a job at this point.) Those 4 weeks were mighty handy for our first 2 Christmases as a married couple. We spent a week at each family’s house, changing at noon-ish on Christmas Day.  It worked out perfect.

We exchanged gifts just the two of us before we left to go family visiting in front of our tiny tree, and then we alternate whose house we are at on Christmas morning. For example, the first year we were married on Christmas we spent the week preceding Christmas, and Christmas morning with my parents and brothers.  Then after a quick trip out to the grandparents’ house to see them and my Uncle and his family, we would head to the next town over to see his parents, sister and grandparents for the afternoon and the next week.  It was really nice to be able to unwind and see everyone for a longer period of time than the 48-72 hours we would have otherwise on weekends home where we were trying to jam both families into a weekend, which is really hard when you’re as close to your family as we both are to ours.

It makes the holidays difficult, not being with our families as much as we would like this year. Both my sister-in-law and the older of my younger brothers now work in retail and the restaurant industry, respectively, so the time off they get is varied, and super hard to coordinate so that when my sister-in-law is at my in-laws so are we, and when my brother is at my parents so are we. Often they have the same time off as each other and we get them each for only 24 hours of the 48 they have off.

In spite of that little hitch of growing up, I still love getting to spend the holidays with family.  We (Adam, Tesla and I) are all a family now, and so we are creating our own holiday memories too, which I hold equally as dearly!

When we hung lights outside on Friday, we tied Tesla up outside so she could wander around while we worked on our house.

I can't find the picture I took at night to go with it, so here is one that is pretty anyway! It turned out pretty good.

And we trimmed the tree...

All lit up!

See the pretty silver and white stocking? That one's mine :D

And hung a few light strands and garlands around the house.

Kitchen

Living room/TV stand

When we were living in Mount Pleasant, the apartment was oddly shaped so there were vast blank spaces.  Well, around Christmas, I would have none of that.  So I strung lights around the ceiling of the entire apartment. Hallway, office, living room, kitchen and dining room all had lights and silver garland strung up where ceiling met wall.  On the entertainment center we don’t have any more, we strung a garland of fake greens twined with lights across the top. Fortunately, we were able to still use the same garland, but it’s a little bit modified to fit the smaller stand.

Basically, living in a smaller space has caused us to have a few strands of leftover lights, and A LOT of leftover silver garland.  I could have strung them around the house along the ceiling, but it felt like overkill.  I wanted it to be tasteful, but obvious, that we heart Christmas.

So, if you have any suggestions for what I can use the leftover lights and garland for, let me know!!

Happy Holiday decorating!

It's Beginning to Look (and sound!) a lot Like Christmas!

I don’t know if y’all have heard the forecast for the Lansing area tonight and tomorrow and for several days after, but we are in for some storms! 

I love snow. It’s pretty and fluffy and makes all of the trees that have lost their leaves beautiful again. And it means Christmas is coming! (*EDIT* We now have about 4")

I enjoy the Christmas season so much. I have wonderful fond memories of the Holiday season from my childhood and I have more that I have made since I moved out of my parents’ house.

Everyone is always just so happy and cheerful during the Holiday season. All smiles and glitter! I know that many people feel pressured to be happy around the holidays, but I do not. I am just so damn happy around the holidays! I am almost giddy with joy. I always hope that I infect as many people with my smiles and laughter around this time as I can, without being pushy. Sure, I have my ups and downs during the weeks around Thanksgiving and Christmas, but on the whole, I bounce back pretty easily because it’s Christmas.

There are many reasons I love this season, some of them new, some of them old, and some of them are now just awesome memories of a wonderful season.

One tradition growing up was that the house did not get decorated for Christmas in anyway until the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Ever. And I loved that. I still love that. Now that I have a household of my own, I still wait until after Thanksgiving to decorate. Of course, I decorate on Friday instead of Saturday, because I am not patient in any sense of the word, but I wait. I also wait until after Thanksgiving to start listening to Christmas music.  I tried listening to Christmas music early one year and it just felt weird. Waiting heightens the anticipation and excitement.  The joy, the wonder!  I think that goes for not just the music, but the decorations as well. So, for my Black Friday shopping I braved the crowds on Amazon to download 100 Christmas songs for $5. It was pretty harrowing – whew!

Another tradition/fond memory that I have from my childhood that I love to look back on, is the annual indoor hide and seek game.  Every year, whatever leftover decorations from decorating the tree we had, lights, garland, etc., us kids would get to put in our rooms to bring a little Christmas cheer to our rooms too.  After we hung all the decorations and put our snow globes out, we would wait for darkness to fall.  Then, after dinner, my brothers and I would play Christmas Light Hide and Seek.  Basically, it’s hide and seek in our house, upstairs, with the door to the upstairs closed and only the strands of lights in our rooms to see by.  And the night light in the bathroom, but that doesn’t count.

We had so much fun playing that game. It was a great time for all.  Sometimes we would play more than once a year, if we had friends over or something. With only the three of us, it wasn’t too much of a challenge and with extra people it got a little more complicated. I remember one time I hid in the bathtub, which isn’t a fantastic hiding spot, but I took a white sheet with me and stretched it out taught so that it would just look like the bottom of the tub if you didn’t look too closely.  It worked. I loved it!  

Another time, when my youngest brother was three or four, he hid between the sink and the bathtub in the shower curtains and we couldn’t find him for a half hour! We even went downstairs to check if he had hidden down there, even though it was an unwritten rule that downstairs was off-limits. (The stairs were fair game, but not a very good hiding spot!) Little stinker. And one of the times that I remember having a friend of Matthew’s over, he folded himself up and tucked himself under the table by the phone!

Good times, good times…..

When I was growing up we would always go to the decoration Sunday at the church I grew up in.  When I was younger, I would hang with the kids while we did Christmas-y crafts in the Fellowship Hall and the adults would decorate the sanctuary and the annex.  As I got into middle and high school I would kind of split my time between the two. I really enjoyed both activities, and fortunately, I kind of got to have my cake and eat it too. [Side note: I’ve never really understood where that phrase comes from. I obviously know what it means and how to use it, but it’s still weird.]

I also love going to Christmas Eve Services. The place is packed to the rafters and everyone is excited to see you, especially if you’re home from college for the holiday! And when the lights in the sanctuary are turned off and all you see are candles held aloft with the glow of the Advent candles and the Christmas tree behind the organ, it’s just magical while we sing ‘Silent Night’ a capella as a congregation.  

Another tradition that has been modified since Adam and I have gotten married is watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” after the Christmas Eve Service. I got it on DVD so it’s pretty portable and last year Adam and I watched it on my laptop, I think. We were at his parents’ last year for Christmas morning.

Wow, I just looked over this post and it is massively long! Hm. I guess I will wrap it up and continue tomorrow with more!

What are some of your favorite pre-Christmas traditions? Why do you love (or hate) the holiday season?

Thankful (a little late)

I am thankful for a lot this year, my mom still being here, and the rest of my family and my still semi-new in-law family.

For my amazing friends who I love so much. (Who I get to see a few of today!!)

For this wonderful tiny house that got us out of a bad place, in more than one way.  And we have wonderful landlords who have been so great.  Including leaving a bottle of bubbly in the fridge with a note welcoming us home on the day we moved in.

I am thankful for Weight Watchers.  Yes, Weight Watchers.  I have learned so much by going to those meetings.  And there is something oddly comforting to going to meetings with people who are fighting the same demons that I am.  And, with everything that I have learned since March 2010, I have lost 36.2 lbs.  Today's Weigh-in not withstanding.  I love to stare at the chart of my weight loss.  It's so pretty!  And I love the diagonal line going doooooooooown to the right! :D

I am thankful for the place I am in my life right now.  I have a job, I have a wonderful family, friends and the best, most supportive husband in the world.  I have a smart, adorable but needy dog.  I have a house that I was able to decorate for Christmas yesterday! I have my health and food on the table.

And it's still looking up, even with Student Loans coming due!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Jensens and Tesla!

Whoa! Crazy Train!

Quick updates!

I have been so super busy that blogging kind of fell to the wayside!  I have been made full time at work, temporarily, but with how busy I've been I am hoping that they will keep me at full time past the end of this month.

We also moved into a house. Renting, but we are living in a house and we LOVE it.  Pictures are coming!

Aaaaaaand for the biggest news: We got a dog!  She's a beautiful boxer mix who's about a year and a half old.  She had her first vet appointment tonight and she is a healthy girl!  Her name is Tesla Katherine, named for the wife of Nikola Tesla who invented the Tesla Coil. We start obedience classes on Saturday.  Many pictures and adventures with her to come!

How've you been?

Friday Five - 5 Things I Hope My Kids Inherit from My Husband

1. His metabolism.

I am so jealous of his metabolism.  Adam weighs 10lbs soaking weight.  I really want them to grow up with at least a little help from his biology.  My metabolism sucks.  It works, but it's a constant battle against my weight and I do not wish that on anyone.  Especially my children.

2. His immunity.

He has been sick all of like, three times, in the time we've been together.  Which doesn't count the time he got food poisoning.  I, on the other hand, get at least one cold every season.  I've also had the flu, strep, bronchitis and other things since we've been together. They should have all of his immunity, plus whatever I can add so they don't get sick as often as I do.

3. His intelligence.

He's so smart.  I want our kids to have choices in life and having intelligence certainly doesn't hurt.

4. His curiosity.

He's learning French, he just finished a book about economics, he knows, like, 1,000 programming languages and he asks all kinds of questions.  A lot of what he learned about computers he learned outside of school.  I hope our kids have that quality and that we can encourage it forever.

5. His athleticism.

I'm not so sure about his ability to throw a ball, but he's pretty athletic.  He bikes and runs (the 5K we did last weekend, he didn't train hardly at all and took fourth in his age group.  And he was upset with his time. Which is bull.  He averaged a 6:42 mile.)  He likes all kinds of sports.

A Look Back At the Firsts - Nostalgia Monday

Today is the first day of classes for my alma mater, Central Michigan University.  I had a great four years there, and I have no regrets.  I miss the wonderful people I met and I won't forget the great experiences I had there.

Andrew, chillin' in the ATEP lab

The cast and crew of Dead Man's Cell Phone

Some of the class of Irish Theatre History 2011 in Ireland, the night we did Caley Dancing

But I want to post a little nostalgia about the firsts for my that happened while I was there.

At Central I had my first apartment, that is now a parking lot instead.  Here, Adam gave me my claddaugh ring, as a promise ring.  I had my second apartment on campus too, and this apartment is where my wonderful boyfriend of 3 1/2 years proposed to me.

This building is also now a parking lot.  If you drive down Washington, through the center of campus, past the EHS building, the parking lot between EHS and Washington is where the two buildings I first lived in on my own used to stand.

While at Central I met two of my best friends, Courtney and Nicole.

Both of whom were bridesmaids in our wedding.  Melissa (one of my BFFs from my childhood) joined us when she came to CMU for grad school and Nicole introduced us to Lee.

Melissa (MOH1) and I on Adam's and my wedding day

L-R: Nicole, Courtney (holding Bauer), Me (please excuse my crazy eyes, I was trying not to blink) and Lee.  Our last Christmas with all of us in Michigan.

We used to have weekly breakfast gatherings where I would cook breakfast and we'd all hangout and eat and have a great time with friends.  This was a change from our weekly dinners we had the previous semester.

One of the biggest firsts while I was in Mount Pleasant:

Adam and I moved in together.

We moved in together the summer after we got engaged/summer before we got married.

And this summer we had to say good bye to it, two years after we moved in.

 Our tiny kitchen

It was remodeled about two months before we moved.

Looooong hallway that looked so nice when I decorated for Christmas.  I had a lot of fun with different things in this hallway.

The office

The office continued

We had so much closet space in this place.

First bathroom

connected by the shower/tub to 

the bathroom that connected to our bedroom

See? Seriously tons of closet space!

The room seems so much smaller without our stuff in it.

It was out this window that there was a great field where we played frisbee a lot.

Then we head back down the hall to our living room/dining room.

This apartment complex wasn't the best, but it was our first, together.  We came home to this apartment after our wedding, it was the first address we had on our drivers licenses that wasn't our parents' addresses.  We came home from our honeymoon to this apartment, and from our first wedding anniversary celebration.

So much happened here, it was hard to leave.  It felt like home.

Sorry for the quality, light was bad and I was trying not to cry until after the picture.

But today, I hope that even though the faculty is on strike, that every student's college experience at Central is as amazing as mine was and they have a lot of phenomenal firsts.  And I want to thank the Faculty for my experience. Though I didn't graduate with an ATEP degree, I learned loads from the ATEP faculty.  And the Theatre, Interpretation and Dance faculty made my experience with the theatre program one of the best times in my life.  I learned so much in class, working shows (whether I was crewing or in them), and about myself.  I loved every minute of my theatre major.  The friends I made, the people I met, thank you for my great experience at Central.

Fire Up Chips!

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Thanks to Katie, Tim, Nicole, Lee and Titus Photography for some of the photos in this post, the rest are taken by me.

OMG, did that just happen!?

As you know, Adam and I are back from a wonderful vacation in a place that is far, far away from our home in Lansing.

We headed home Saturday, rather earlier than expected because it was raining like the dickens and there was no reason to stick around stuck inside.  We were heading south on US 127 and I was having a particularly bad bout of cramps.  It's a great time of the month. Awesome. Hmph.

Anyway, we were driving into a rather nasty looking storm and I was bent over the dashboard throwing myself a little pity party when my rarely vulgar husband says, "Holy Shit!"

I look up just in time to watch a green four door pick up truck that was heading north on US 127 roll over three or four times into the median.

I, of course, yell, "OH MY GOD STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!"

I threw my phone at Adam and tell him to call 911 and I got out of the car.

(I am a professional rescuer first aid and CPR certified so it is required by law that I stop and help)

I ran over to the truck, now probably about a tenth of a mile back.  Two other people had made it there first (one I think was a mechanic and another who I think was a man of the cloth).  I ask if everyone is ok, identify myself and ask if I can help.

Fortunately, everyone was alive and mostly just shaken up.  You have no idea how glad I was to see that.  Our first aid kit was buried in the trunk with our camping gear and I fear it would have taken far too long to get to it had we really needed it.

The sweet elderly lady in the back seat bore the brunt of everything, I think, because she was with all of the things that were loose, the cooler, towels, etc.  I stayed with her and just held her hand trying to keep her from moving too much until the ambulance could get there and check her out. She didn't appear to have any life threatening injuries, but you can't be too safe.

The mechanic man checked the truck as best he could while preacher man prayed and I stayed with Betty.

Eventually, the police arrived, the ambulance and the tow truck.  I headed back to Adam and the car when one of the other gentlemen who stopped ran over and asked if we had a cell he could use, because in the rush to get to the people in the accident, he and his wife locked their keys in the car!

He got ahold of AAA and he thanked us and ran back to his wife and car.

We managed to get back on the road shortly after that and get home with no further incident.  I hope that everything was much less exciting for that family for the rest of the day, and they got to go to the Bridge and meet up with their friends.

As far as we could tell, it was dry south of the storm and so they drove into a straight line of ferocious storms and down pouring rain.  Then, we think, the truck hydroplaned, then began to spin out on the road (this is what prompted the 'holy shit' from Adam) and maybe hit the rumble strips or just the weight of the truck caused it to flip end over end (when I looked up) then several barrel rolls ending up, upright, in the center of the median.  Yikes, it happened so fast.  I cannot imagine experiencing that, but I am so glad that those three people came through it alive.

Far more exciting day than I think any of us expected.

Safe travels, friends, safe travels.

Scariest 15 seconds of my entire life

As you know, my family has gone through a lot the last year.  2011 has only had a few bright points to it and as I mentioned this morning, life at our house apartment was rather hair-raising before we left for vacation.

We had spent a pleasant few days at a KOA in Port Huron visiting with my aunt and cousins who had come in from North Carolina for a week.  We returned home to our normal(ish, anyone who knows Adam and me, we are far from normal) routine and Monday morning was no different.  We started getting ready for our Century Training Ride when Adam noticed that his back tire was flat.  Upon further inspection he discovered that his faithful road bike tires that had been with him since the beginning kicked the bucket and there was a hole in his back tire and tube.

I went for my ride, because if I wait until the evening, I just don't feel like doing the work outs.  Adam went on to finish getting ready to head to work.  I got back from my ride and Adam left for work.  He took the blown back tire with him, planning to stop at MSU bikes to get a new one on his way to the lab.  I was chillin' on the couch, recovering from my ride and watching Gilmore Girls when Adam comes back in the apartment.

This happens about once a week, he forgets his wallet or his phone or some other little thing, no biggie. This is the exchange that follows:

J: "Forget your wallet again?"

A: "Well, no.  I kind of crashed on my bike."

J: "Oh, baby, I'm sorry, are you ok?"

A: "Yeah, I'm fine, a little banged up."

J: "I'll clean you up, let me grab the first aid kit."

I started cleaning his cuts and scrapes and he starts telling me about the crash.  The tire he was carrying on his handle bars caught in his pedal and yanked the handle bars, sending him flying.  He scraped his right knee pretty bad, his right hand had a lot of cuts and scrapes and his left thumb hurt a lot (sprained).  I was cleaning his hand when he said he was feeling dizzy, so I made him sit on the couch while I kept cleaning and bandaging.

He told me he felt dizzy and a little nauseous but he kept talking about the accident and was in the midst of telling me how he thought he hurt his thumb when he made this un-earthly groaning noise and his head fell on his chest and he fell forward into me.  I pushed him back on the couch and he was twitching.  We hadn't talked about whether he had hit his head or not yet and I freaked out because I thought he was having a seizure.  I kept talking to him trying to get him to respond to me while I frantically searched for my phone and called 911.  I was on the phone with the operator when he came to.  He was out for about 10-15 seconds, I guess, it all happened so fast.  I was dialing 911 when he came to and he was lucid almost immediately and asked me why I was crying and calling 911.  


You know that feeling when you're in a REM cycle so you're paralyzed so you don't fall out of bed and you're dreaming a situation where you have to scream but all you can get out is a lower oh god or something similar? Yeah, that's what my chest felt like, it felt like a boa constrictor was squeezing my chest.  So, I'm on the phone trying to talk to the 911 operator and get Adam to understand that he can't get up because he just had a freaking seizure.  In the confusion I accidentally told the 911 operator the wrong apartment, I'm glad I didn't give them the entirely wrong building. (Fricken moving)  Adam started having the same symptoms again so I made him lay down and put his feet up on the armrest until the paramedics got there.  They arrived and I got them to the right apartment and they checked him out.  His vitals were fine and his blood sugar was normal.  The head EMT said that it was vasovagal syncope, at least that's what he thought and that Adam should get in for some blood work, etc.  Based on that, we refused the ambulance and got him into the doctor he normally sees in an hour.


The doctor said the same as the EMT, he fainted (vasovagal syncope) caused from trauma and dehydration.  There were other factors, but we're going to leave the rest at he's ok and has to have some other tests which he's getting tomorrow.  Based on his family and personal medical history it shouldn't be anything to worry about.


I only had one gray hair before all this happened, but I may have several more now.  I may catch Adam in that department before the end of the year.


But needless to say, I am going to be very happy to kick 2011 out the door and hope that 2012 is a little less heart-wrenching, even if the world ends on December 21.

Why Structure is Important. Very Important. For Me.

For the last twenty years, I have been living my life on a semester based year.  That's a long time.

Now I that I have graduated, I no longer live my life based on semesters.  It's weird.  But I have been trying to get into a rhythm, a routine to keep me from wasting time while I look for a job.

I get up sometime between 8 and 9 am, if I sleep til 10, the rest of the day just disappears and I don't get anything done.  I eat breakfast and on Monday/Wednesday/Friday I wait an hour or so to digest and then I go to the gym to workout, shower, eat lunch and blog.  And after I eat lunch, I get really sleepy.  I have been trying to keep from succumbing every day, but today it's extra difficult.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are difficult, because yoga is at 7:30p.  I have no real structure on those days.
Those two days, and M/W/F afternoons are really where the time suck happens, because I don't have anything planned.  I try and keep busy with projects around the house. Like, making a new papasan chair cushion or a case for my kindle, unpacking things and getting ready for Courtney's Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party.  But eventually, you just plain run out of stuff to do.

I need to find a job.  I am running out of things to do around here, and it's beginning to drive me mad.

I am trying to not get to the point of boredom, but I feel it's not far off.

Structure, for me is so important.  And if I had kids I would be able to have time to help them learn new things, and do all kinds of stuff, but that ship will not come into the harbor for several years.  With structure, deadlines and projects, I feel productive.  And it doesn't hurt to get paid for those things.

In the mean time I will spend my time working out, blogging, watching movies and reading lots of books!

And job hunting.

Welcome Home

Finally after many weeks and months of hospital rooms, tests, surgeries, chances, tears, sadness, ups, downs, anger, yelling, crying and finally upward progress from ICU to rehab, my mother arrived home from her fight against H1N1.

She is weak, but walking, talking and feeding herself.  She has a long way to go down the road to recovery, mostly regaining her strength.  From the worst place I have ever been in my life at the end of January and the beginning of February to now is almost night and day.  We still aren't back to normal, but we're getting there and my brothers and I have my Mom back and my Dad has his other half.

There are so many people to thank, I don't know if I can think of them all, but, I want to take a second to thank all of the wonderful people in my life who have been there in the darkest days of our family.  My husband who was stoic and allowed me to be selfish, would hold me for hours while I cried and drove us to Grand Rapids hundreds of times.  He was suffering just as much as the rest of us, but was a rock for all of us, especially me.  My Uncle Rick and his family who live about 10 minutes from the hospital and gave us a key to come and go as we needed.  They gave us beds to sleep in and fed us every weekend and whenever we needed a place to go.  Even though I know my uncle felt he wasn't doing enough and his wife who asked him why we hadn't moved in yet felt the same way, we are family and they wanted to take care of us.  It means so much to us, and we can never thank them enough.  Courtney and James and the Moore family, who helped try and keep a sense of normality for me, Nicole, Melissa, Pastor Emmett, Pastor Rick, the Eks, Debby, the Spedowskis, MaryJo and the entire IRC camping family.  Lisa, who took notes like a mad woman for me when I missed class, the professors who, in unison told me to do what I needed to do and make up the work as I can, instead of asking me to withdraw from my final semester.  To all of the people who supported and fed my family when I could not, the Healeys who fed Zack during the week when my Dad was still at the hospital on late nights, the Hammonds who took in our family dog, and the BRHS hockey family who rallied behind us and produced massive amounts of food for when no one could get up the desire to actually cook and held a team prayer for my Mom shortly after she went on ECMO in the ICU and always took a second to comfort and ask how Mom was doing.  And the hundreds of people who sent cards, well wishes and the people who sent the gas cards and food cards for all of the traveling from home to Grand Rapids my Dad did.

The doctors and nurses, respiratory people and ECMO techs who told us after Mom started to get better, that they had never had a sicker patient who lived.  Without their round the clock care, Mom wouldn't have been able to fight this off on her own.

And the unsung heros in all of this. My Mom and Dad.  My Dad stepped up hardcore and managed to figure out the finances that my Mom, being an accountant, had always taken care of.  He was at the hospital every day, talking to Mom, holding her hand and wishing he could do all of it for her and when he could not, he kept on the doctors, asked questions and got answers.  Always driving and pushing and hoping that Mom would get better.

And my Mom who fought so hard, and had taken so many steps to healthy living before this that helped her fight off this terrible disease.  I hope that in the following years as Mom continues down the road to recovery, she will continue to make those healthy choices that helped her survive this.  Mom has always been stubborn and that was so beneficial to her in this fight.

I love you, Mom, welcome home.

Stuff is Going to Happen Whether You're Out There Or Not

I have had a history of knee problems.  I dislocated my left knee cap in 7th grade and again in 8th grade in gym class.  Then the summer before my sophomore year we were camping and I stepped over a chair and dislocated my right knee cap.  All of these sucked.

The right knee cap sucked the most because I did nothing serious to make it happen,  And we were 40 miles from the nearest hospital.  My mom had seen the doctor put my left one back in twice and she slipped it back in.  My parents splinted it, and a family friend who had happened to be there at the same time as us helped my Dad put me in the van to take me to the hospital.  None of my family had been there when I had done it previously so it was a shock to all of them to have me fall and just start screaming.  I wasn't a fan really either.  I don't really like involuntary, unexpected pain.  Expected pain sucks too, though.  And the E.R. doctor was an a-hole and didn't believe me that I had dislocated my knee cap and put me through the full range of motion not an hour after I had hurt it.  Jerk.

Anyway, jump ahead 9 1/2 years to last Friday (1/15/11) to Everyman rehearsal.  We finish the rave scene with nothing big happening.  I get back to my area and felt a floaty sensation in my knee, which happens sometimes.  I just have to fix the sensation before I sit down.  But I didn't this time.  I should have, because the next time I tried to stand I couldn't straighten my right knee, walk or put weight on it.  I hurt, a lot.  I sat out of the rest of rehearsal and Ryan and Billy helped me hobble to the car after rehearsal.  I drove home left footed, which is harder than you think.

When I got home I took a bath and was able to straighten my knee in the bath.  I iced and went to bed, expecting to be sore in the morning. I was asleep for 45 minutes and woke up crying, like, uncontrollable sobbing.  We went sleepily, grumpily and in my case in incredible amounts of pain with tears rolling uncontrollably down my face to the E.R.  We were there for four hours, had X-Rays done and had some special tests done by the E.R. doctor.  He didn't really tell me what he thought, that I can remember, until I read the material he gave me as I was released with an ace wrap, crutches and a script for a knee immobilizer.  Meniscus tear, possible knee strain.  We open in two weeks. Shit.

On Monday I got in to see a Doctor at UHS which my insurance requires me to do.  He agreed with the E.R. doctor on his prognosis and sent me to the ICC in the SAC on campus.  I had my initial eval yesterday that concurred with the last two people I have seen.  I have my first rehab appointment tonight.  If I'm not better in a few weeks the UHS doctor wants to send me for an MRI.

So, no matter whether you're playing sports or doing theatre, you always have the chance to get hurt.  Live life to the fullest and have fun while you're doing it!

P.S. You might be wondering what I am going to do about Everyman.  I'm doing the show.  I am a professional and I will be doing the show.  I will be limited and I may be wheeled around the set, but I am doing the show.  I have worked too hard and too long to not do the show.  I can't let my cast mates down either.  The show is going to be awesome a lot of us have worked hard and poured a lot into the show, please come see it. (Sorry for the shameless plug..... no, no I'm not)

P.P.S. For those interested in the show, it is being performed January 27-29 and February 3-5 at 7:30p and January 30 and February 6 at 2p.  Come see it, it will be awesome!  You can buy tickets here.

P.P.P.S. HUGS!

30 Days of Truth - Day 28: What If You Were Pregnant, What Would You Do?

If I got pregnant now, I would FREAK OUT. And not in a good way, because it would be a complete and total accident. And because of that, I don't know what else I would do, beyond freak the hell out.

Now if we were talking a planned pregnancy, I would be super excited. I want to have kids, I really do, just not now. We don't have the time, or the smallest inkling of the kind of income we would need to have a child right now. When we aren't in school full time anymore and at least one of us has a job that allows us to have a more financially sound future and allows us to save a little more than we have now we'll start talking about kids.

But that time is definitely not now. This is going to sound totally selfish, but you can't fly in your third trimester, and I wouldn't be able to go to Ireland if I got pregnant now.

No babies.

30 Days of Truth - Day 26: Have You Ever Thought About Giving Up On Life? If So, When and Why?

No.

I have never, and I hope I never have a time in my life that I consider that. 

And, if you are considering that alternative, DON'T.  Life will get better!!  Call the Kristin Brooks Hope Center hopeline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), use their online support or email support!  Suicide is never the answer.

What a depressing topic right before Thanksgiving....  but this song is amazing!

30 Days of Truth - Day 25: The Reason You Believe You’re Still Alive Today

Because it's not my time yet.

I don't know what else they expect us to say here.  I suppose that if someone had considered taking their own life, they could write something better than I have to contribute to today's topic.

So, with that, I'm going to say, I haven't completed my life's work yet.  I still have something, or somethings, to do in this world.

I don't know what it is, exactly, yet.

But you can bet I'm going to figure it out and do it!

1700 Points....

.....and I made a rice bag!  Well, two actually. We have an MSU themed one that I think Adam's Mom got for him, but it's a tube and not really useful for backs or other wide areas (like my ass) so I had been meaning to go to Joann Fabrics and get some fabric for a wider one.

Then Saturday after a five hour rehearsal Friday night, I awoke to muscle soreness in my back (new!) and a pulled hamstring (which I knew about 10 minutes into the rehearsal).  Then my procrastination at getting material became a serious lack in judgement.  As I'm laying there, I think WAIT!  I have a ton of left over material from my previous projects! Why get new material when I have some I can use already?!?  So I stumble my way out of bed and picked out a purple handkerchief print I used to make my shoulder bag (and my lunch bag) that I had purchased the rest of the bolt because it was half off (and I loved it!)  I cut out a big section and started sewing.

We didn't have any rice.  And I had to go to rehearsal with Jenny.

Sigh.  My heated relief had to wait.  There was an upside though - the driver's seat in the car is heated!  So that held me over.

I rehearsed with Jenny and I went to the store to get rice.

Lee had a pillow she wanted me to fix, so after I did that, we sat and chatted whilst I finished my first rice bag!  I haven't seen her in weeks, so I was really glad we could hang out for a little while.  She's graduating in a few weeks and moving out of state so we have to get our happy visits in while we can - flights are expensive, even within the U.S.

Anyway, I only made one with Lee there and I made the second one much faster after we watched The Kids Are Alright (I'll write about the movie later).  I was planning on doing a tutorial for those who wanted to make their own when I made the second one, but I forgot.  Ooops, sorry!  So I will make more and remember to make a tutorial the next time!  I have all kinds of material and rice is cheap :-)

And now you're probably wondering what does 1700 points have to do with rice bags?  Well, nothing.  But, I use MyView Survey to earn points towards rewards and I am 1700 points away from a $25 Gift Card from Amazon which I am ridiculously excited about!  Then I get can some of the things on my Amazon Wish List!  I have too many things I want, and sometimes I hate that about me.  But I also really want to expand my sheet music library, book collection and I need heavier weights and a heart rate monitor for when I'm doing P90X.  But the fact that I have four lists separated into "categories"kind of irks me.  Ugh.

Anyway, I only need to do 1 1/2 more full surveys to get the gift card and I can't wait!  Woo!!

**EDIT** I now only need 850 points :D

30 Days of Truth - Day 20: Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol

I personally have never experimented with drugs.  I have taken drugs prescribed to me for various things and some of those have been... interesting... but I have never purposefully taken a drug - legal or illegal - for a high.

Alcohol is fine in moderation.  I enjoy an alcoholic beverage now and again.  I think some of them are rather tasty.  There are others however that are not so tasty.  The tasty ones are the ones you have to watch out for.  I have been drunk - really, really drunk once.  And by really drunk I mean I have thrown up once from drinking.  Nicole's birthday of this year (2010) Lee made Piña Colada martinis - never again.  I had fun up until I drank too much, then it wasn't fun anymore, everything was fuzzy and moved way too fast.  Never again.

Anyway, I'm not here to judge, but drinking just to get wasted and forget is not the way to go.  You know how you forget when you do that?  You kill brain cells.  Bad news bears.

Also, please, if you choose to get effed up on alcohol and/or drugs, don't get behind the wheel.  Save a life and take a cab. 

And eat Cabin Sticks - YUM.

Exhaustion Tears

Have you ever been so tired that you are barely functioning and the ability to catch up on your sleep is totally out of your control?

Yeah, that was me last week during Into the Woods.  It hit me the hardest Friday morning after our 2am photo call end time Thursday night.  By the time I got home and in bed it was almost 3 and I had to get up early-ish to ride my bike to my 10a class because Adam had to take the car to Lansing that day.

The part that "broke" me was when I had eaten breakfast and was all ready to walk out the door to ride to class and Adam simply said, "Where are you going?  I'll drop you off, sorry I forgot to tell you."

On my normally functioning brain, that wouldn't normally be a big deal, I would just continue with my bike ride so I would have a way to get home quickly after class.  Instead, my sleep deprived brain had a week's worth of exhaustion and being presented with this choice/decision to make, no matter how small, made my brain OVERLOAD.  I just crumpled in our "foyer" and just started crying. I cried for a good 15 minutes.  Nothing bad happened to me, I just started bawling exhaustion tears.  Adam was baffled, of course, but he did the right thing.  He just let me cry, held me and gave me tissues

I felt so much better after I cried.  I was on edge still much of the rest of the day, but I was able to function without fear of bursting into tears in the middle of class.  Then I took a nap after class and that helped a lot too.

Don't discount the therapeutic effect of a good cry!

30 Days of Truth - Day 13: A Band or Artist That Has Gotten You Through Some Tough Days (write a letter.)

Dear Music,

This letter is supposed to be about a particular band or artist that helped me through a difficult time. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are several songs either got me through a time or were just a soundtrack to a certain time in my life.

For example, in 2001-2002 I went on vacation with my family to Florida over Christmas Break and listened to Britney Spears' self-titled Album: Britney on repeat all the entire way down and back, in the van. I also read the very first Princess Diaries book by Meg Cabot over and over and over and over again. Not a hard time, but a good soundtrack at the time!

There was a mixed CD when I was in 8th grade I think, that I listened to during hockey tournaments for Matthew the whole year. I don't remember what was on it, other than a lot of rock music - there was one Rob Zombie song that I remember. Living Dead Girl, I believe it was. Excellent soundtrack!

When I dislocated my left knee cap the first time I watched Bring It On a lot of times, and Air Bud. And one time when I had strep throat I listened to Aaron Carter's CD on repeat for like four days.

Girl Scout Camp always had a lot of fun weird songs that we sang while we were there and those were fun too...

But the most recent time in my life that music has helped me was the big change I went through about a year ago, deciding to leave ATEP and athletic training and change my major to theatre. It will sound silly but Defying Gravity by Stephen Schwartz from Wicked helped me through a lot of what I was struggling with at that time. I heard the song before Glee did the song, but Glee helped me a lot in that it made me realize exactly how much I missed singing - and performing in general. It didn't make me decide to pursue theatre, there were other factors involved in that decision. I know that I always want to have theatre be a part of my life, whether I do community theatre or regional theatre forever - I don't care. Life sucks without the arts, I know that now.

[SIDE NOTE: Go vote for The Williamston Theatre at the Pepsi Refresh Project!!]

Defying Gravity's lyrics spoke to me and gave me courage to do what I should have done long ago. Realize exactly how unhappy I was in athletic training, and that I needed a change. I am so glad I made that change! I know I say that a lot, but it is still fresh for me and every day something reminds me about how awesome my life is now because I left ATEP and changed to theatre.

Music, you have been a wonderful companion to me, and I love you very much! Please continue to love me and support me all the time...


Love,
Jenny


P.S. I am sick, so if you could come up with a good get better song, I'd really appreciate it! kthxbai!