So long, for now.

A lot has happened since I first started blogging here at Fondant is Gross. I've moved several times, a couple of break-ins, changed careers, and so much more.

As I've grown and changed, I've found the limitations of the title I chose four years ago. So, to that end, I've decided to stop blogging here at Fondant is Gross.

I need to take a step back, think about what I want to focus on, and come up with a name that can be more diverse as I grow and change, because I don't intend to stop doing either of those things! This is good bye only to Fondant is Gross, not to blogging or writing in general. I have some ideas to move forward, but what I don't have is time to really flesh that out.

You'll know when I come back, especially if you follow me at @redwingsdiva87. I will still be tweeting there, even though I'm not writing actively on a personal blog. And, of course, I will tweet the new blog when I figure it out.

Thank you to those of you who have been with me over the last four years. It's been one helluva ride.

From the Slot: On Johan Franzen

Look, we all have those things that we are passionate about doing, whether it's good for us or not.

I have a friend who's running through an injury because she has a goal to run a 15K this year.

I've been guilty of it myself, running through knee injuries, playing softball through arm issues, but there is one place everyone should draw the line, and that's head injuries.

Second Impact Syndrome is a real, and very serious condition that could at worst, end your life, and at best, turn you into a vegetable.

Franzen had been out since January of 2015 with a serious concussion. Not his first, and actually the latest in a long line of concussions for him. He gave an interview where he said that he spent two months being unable to pick up his kids.

But somehow, a week after he tells Brad Galli he sometimes still has to sleep for 4 hours after a hard workout, he's approved to come back and play?

Franzen said he had to go home from four-hour workouts and sleep the rest of the day. I asked him the last time he had to. "Last week."

— Brad Galli (@BradGalli) September 2, 2015

Fans seem a hell of a lot more worried about this than the team, especially given that he was cleared and has played in the first few games of the 2015-16 season.

Sure seems like maybe people are getting rushed back.

— DetroitHockey.Net (@detroithockey96) October 15, 2015

I really hope Johan Franzen retires. Hockey is not worth taking the risk.

— Red Wings Memes (@RedWingsMemes) October 15, 2015

OF COURSE HE IS. HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PLAYING IN THE FIRST PLACE. https://t.co/eXiHVuK3nt

— Jenny (@redwingsdiva87) October 15, 2015

Mr. Franzen, The hockey world will miss its Mule. But please - for the love of your children - say goodbye. Sincerely, Those Who Also Care

— The Production Line (@TPLhockey) October 15, 2015

Franzen is out indefinitely after his concussion problems have returned. It's not worth it Johan. Your life long health is most important.

— Red Wing Diehards™ (@RedWingDiehards) October 15, 2015

Farewell, Franzen... I think it's time to call it in.

— Ky.L. Stine (@KyleWIIM) October 15, 2015

We know there are a lot of things to take into consideration, but shouldn't your health be number one? Being able to play with your kids? Spend time with your wife?

In my personal opinion, it is irresponsible, and probably reckless endangerment or neglect, for the Wings Organization and/or the League to let him continue to play.

If the Wings want to be known as an organization who takes care of their players, then step up to the plate. Eat the cap hit, or put him on LTIR, just make sure he stays alive.  Like many fans, we don't want another Jiri Fischer situation that turns out so much worse, because this is most definitely going to end that way if Franzen keeps playing.

Be happy with the career you had, it's not worth your life to keep trying to come back.

From the Slot: The Day Dino Ciccarelli Broke My Heart

When I was six or seven, my younger brother started to play hockey. It's the first time I remember being aware that the Red Wings existed. It's '93, '94, and Dino Ciccarelli had been with the Wings for a year or two. He was my favorite player. Being that age, and not really knowing hockey, I don't really know why he was my favorite. But he was. When my Mom ironed on numbers onto my t-ball jersey, I chose 22. Can you guess why?

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Kocur Foundation Softball Tournament, and Ciccarelli was on the guest list. I was very excited, and, being oblivious (plus my age when he was playing), I didn't know that he had a reputation for being a dick, and other parts of his off ice dealings.

So, I went to the tournament hoping to get many players' autographs, and among them, I wanted Ciccarelli's because he was my first favorite player. Before I learned better and Yzerman reigned supreme until his retirement.

A majority of the day, I spent with friends, the boyfriend, and their kids. We gathered around the fence of the celebrity dug out, and waiting behind the bleachers for the players going back and forth from the VIP area, and the dugout.

It felt... weird.

I was under the impression that in addition to supporting a great cause that part of the day was fan interaction, and it just felt like that wasn't what the players felt like that's what they signed up for. When most of the players and other celebrities were interacting with the fans, they were smiling and nice. But, for most of the games, they all stayed on the field because they didn't want to have to listen to people saying their names over and over again. And really, I can't blame them for wanting to just hang out, but if part of the event is touted as fan/player/celebrity interaction, then they hopefully understand the crowd of people around the dugout. Or maybe have designated signing times like McCarty and Ted Lindsey did.

One person, although he did sign things, and I eventually got an autograph, seemed like he didn't want to be there. I don't think I need to tell you who it was.

You see, even though he was there to play softball for a good cause, and (supposedly) for the fan interaction - I was there to meet someone I had idolized as a kid. That's a big expectation for me to carry in when meeting a fellow human.

Not that there is ever a reason to be a jerk to someone, but I feel like we place an unrealistic burden on athletes. Look at all the times that the athletes we idolize have let us down in just the last year or two. Currently, the hockey world is being rocked by rape allegations against Patrick Kane. Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, Sam Ukwuachu, Slava Voynov, Semyon Varlamov, Michael Vick, Aaron Hernandez, all of these athletes have been convicted or accused of doing horrible things. And that's just hockey and gridiron football.

When these humans screw up, or aren't what we idealize even in small ways, we get upset. Which is why I left the tournament yesterday feeling uneasy and unsettled by my interactions with Mr. Ciccarelli. I (subconsciously) expected this hockey player from my youth to be the man I saw on TV, not to be a human that has faults, thoughts, and feelings of his own.  To an extent, I'm responsible for my own disappointment yesterday.

To that same extent, we are responsible for some of our disappointment in these athletes when they don't live up to our expectations.  Not that that excuses the behavior of the humans we place on pedestals when they assault someone, or murder them, but we need to remember that the teams we watch, the people we look to, cheer for, are humans. They make mistakes like we do, and we need to remember that.

I think we'd all be a little less shocked when athletes and celebrities aren't what we expect or do bad things if we just manage to remember that they are human and maybe put a little less of our expectations on their shoulders.

From the Slot: Undrafted Players and the Hockey Hall of Fame

A question has been nagging at me: who is the first un-drafted National Hockey League player in the Hockey Hall of Fame?

Well, the fast answer is the entire 1945 class of inductees.

But let's pretend we want to delve a little deeper and set a few parameters.

In 1963, the The National Hockey League Amateur Draft was the first entry draft to the NHL. Previous to that, players were found and signed by teams on their own.  Only North American players were drafted in the original conception of the draft, and even when European players began to defect to North America, they were ineligible for the draft and usually initially played for the team that helped them leave their home countries.

Peter Stastny. Photo Credit here.

The draft continued in the original fashion until 1979, when the NHL absorbed the World Hockey Association, and the rules changed so that any North American player from 18-20 years old and any European player of any age can be drafted in the newly termed NHL Entry Draft.

With players of all nationalities eligible for the draft, Tomas Jonsson (Sweden) became the first drafted European player as the 4th pick in the second round (29th overall).

The following year, Peter Stastny defected from Czechoslovakia with his brother Anton after winning the European Cup in Innsbruck, Austria. Having never been drafted, but played in the NHL with the now (sadly) defunct Quebec Nordiques,  the New Jersey Devils, and the St. Louis Blues, he becomes eligible to become the first un-drafted player to be inducted to the HHOF, and indeed, he did so. In 1998, three years after retiring in a Blues kit, Peter the Great was inducted into the HOF with Roy Conacher, Michel Goulet, and Athol Murray becoming the first un-drafted player in the HHOF by this definition.

Some of you might cry foul and say that Björe Salming was the first un-drafted player inducted. But, given that he wasn't eligible to be drafted before his rookie year in the NHL (six years before the draft rules changed), he was disqualified to be the first un-drafted inductee in the context of my question.  It's only fair that the first be after everyone is eligible for the draft, and given that European players weren't eligible in 1973 to be drafted, well, you get my point.

Regardless of whom you feel is the rightful first un-drafted NHL Hockey Hall of Famer, there is quite the illustrious list of un-drafted NHL players in the HHOF.  Eddie Belfour, Dino Ciccarelli, Joe Mullen, Adam Oates, the list goes on.

Only goes to show you that not being drafted isn't the end of the world.

Sources here, here, and here. 

A Mission to Civilize, er, I mean Decorate

After I finished the master and moved back in, I wanted to finish up decorating the rest of the house. There was a wall in the dining room, two walls in the living room, and some spaces smaller spaces in both rooms as well as the bathroom I wanted to finish.

The easiest was the dining room. Found this great painting at Meijer that coordinated well with the curtains.

Plus, I already had some pictures from my trip to Ireland framed, just not hung. Well, now they're up on the wall, under the photo I purchased at 500px of a waterfall at Yellowstone.

The living room was up next. Previously, there was a wall of wedding photos, and a smattering of photos on another wall. Some of those photos were Adam's, so I packed them up for him to have. 

This is a big wall though, and it took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to do there. 

First step, though, was moving my running photos to one wall.

Then, after much pondering, I saw some crayon art, and then I thought, "Perfect! I can totally do that!"

And I did. But now that that was decided, what was it going to be of? I settled on tributes to my biggest fandoms. Doctor Who, Harry Potter, M*A*S*H, and the Detroit Red Wings.

You'll notice that the M*A*S*H canvas is not crayon art. Good job! Cause it's not. It's pastels. It was too intricate to melt wax all over the place. It was my first time working with those as well, and I think it turned out rather nice. 

Plus, it takes up the entire wall, done!

Up next in the living room, I printed up some photos and dropped them into three photo collage frames.  That wasn't a hard decision, I knew I wanted more photos of my family and friends where they had been previously. Just in different frames and sizes.

Lastly, over the bay window I got a new display to replace the one that went with Adam. Plus, the red flower matches the dragonfly curtain!

Last tiny space to decorate, the people we bought the house from had left nails in the wall in the big bathroom. After being empty for two years, I decided to fill them.

As luck would have it, I passed an end cap at Meijer that had these two cute ceramics on clearance. I was sold!

I've been so pleased with how everything has turned out. I walk into my bedroom and smile because it's SO pretty.

I sit in my chair to watch TV, I look up, I see the art I worked so hard on.

I walk through and see all these touches I've added, and it just makes me so happy. I've got a big, goofy grin on my face all the time up in here!

P.S. If you don't catch my reference in the title, go check out Newsroom. First season is awesome.

Remodeling the Master Bedroom - IT'S SO PRETTY!

Before I moved back into the master bedroom, I wanted to change it up and really make it my own.

Plus, there was a giant hole from Tesla in the wall. She went charging down the hall about two years ago, lost control, and slammed her behind into the wall, leaving this hole.

There was also a crack that needed to be fixed.

And, honestly, all that sponging was a PAIN, so I didn't want to have to do it again, although it would have been quicker, most likely, than repainting the entire room. 

Anyway... 

Before:

After:

I went with a Royal Peacock Blue from Behr, and Citron Lovely Lattice Curtains over the windows. My paternal grandparents had given me a rocking chair, and I had an old TV stand type thing that matched. 

Since I got rid of the bed frame, and moved the bed, there was enough space for both next to the bed. 

It gave me some room to play with some more decorations, and here is the finished product.

Wide views:

And some close ups of my favorite parts:

 

IT'S SO PRETTY!

A DIY Sunday or, Hell Yeah, I'm a Badass!

I've been on a kick of home decoration and home improvement since about mid-December 2014.

But I'm going to start with my accomplishments from this weekend, because today's work is what makes me feel extra, super fricken awesome.

Yesterday, I decided to take out the shower door in the master bathroom and put in a curtain. The door hasn't closed properly in a long time, and attempted hacks to make it stay shut had failed. I took out all the screws, but I could NOT get one of the screws out, even with things jammed under the door to attempt to give me proper leverage. I figured, well, I'll just put some of the screws back in and wait until I can get someone to hold the door for me. But, lo and behold, the door stayed shut! 

I never use the shower in there, but it was irritating to try and open the door to the bathroom at 3 am and have it slam into the shower door that's hanging open. So, BAM problem solved. The magnet on the door realigned with the magnet on the frame and it stays shut. Excellent.

That was it for yesterday's DIY home improvement, but this morning I woke up and after lazing in bed for a couple hours (be jealous) I kicked into action and headed out to Home Depot. Today is the day that I would change a shower head for the first time, put in a shower caddy, and replace the garbage disposal (also for the first time). 

First up, the shower caddy. Super easy, but pro-tip: read the directions all the way. I didn't read all the directions, and was super pissed when the pole kept slipping off the spring. Had I put the little caps on both ends of the smaller pole before sliding into the pole with the spring in it the first time, it would have worked the first time. Figured that out fairly quickly, fortunately, but much cursing.  

Next: the shower head. (dun dun dun!)  The old shower head came off super easy, didn't have to use the pipe wrench at this point, just used my hand - awesome! I put the plumber's tape on the threads to help prevent leaks, and was ready to go.

I followed the directions to get the shower head on - again - easy. Turned on the faucet, pull the shower trap, aaaaaand.... nothing. Nothing would come out of the shower head, at all. Turned it off, turned it on again, off, on, off, on, off. Nothing. Whaaaaaaat?! I take off the shower head, but leave the pivot joint on. Try again. Nothing. The mystery deepens!

I took the pivot joint off. Turned the shower on again, still nothing. Called my dad to ask him if he had any ideas. He had me check for leaks behind the pipes, feel to see if there was any air coming out of the shower arm when I had the shower on, and a couple other things. Nothing.

It turned out to be something super small.

See this?

Welp. That was from the old shower head and it needed to go. Yanked that bad motor scooter out of the shower arm, and VICTORY! Water came out of the shower arm, so I could put the shower head back on and revel in my glorious success. And I totally did NOT put the pivot joint back on before the washer, then have to take it off to put it on right. Ok, maybe I did. But then I got it on and it works perfectly, I love it! First thing I did with it was to clean the shower, but my shower tonight was spectacular. Brilliant!

I took a break on the home improvement to do an art project I'll post about later before tackling the garbage disposal. 

After that break I *almost* didn't get off my tush and take care of the disposal, but I started looking at it, and it didn't seem that bad. 

Hoo boy. It really wasn't that bad, but it took a lot of time to figure out. First up, the old disposal had a threading that stuck out about an inch, inch and a half or so, to meet up with the drain pipe.

Crap. So, I had to make another trip to Home Depot to get a replacement pipe.  While I was there, I also needed to get some wire cutters/strippers to do the electronics. I was so focused on the pipe, I forgot to get the wire cutters. At least I remembered halfway across the parking lot, instead of after I got home!

A quick saw job, a little snip snip with the kitchen scissors, hooking up the power cord, trading the battery between the light and the drill, and I had successfully installed my garbage disposal. It works! I feel so accomplished!

Now I sit here, sipping my wine, watching How I Met Your Mother, and writing this up, I feel exhausted in the best way. 

I'm such a bad ass.

From the Slot: Wings 6 - Sabres 3

Wings finally pull their heads out of their asses, and snap their 6 game losing streak to a surprisingly hot, yet terrible Sabres team. I think it's safe to say now that they aren't trying to tank the season to get McDavid.

Kindl spontaneously combusts twice to allow the first two Buffalo goals. The second occurring on a Red Wings power play, in his first shift after being benched for sucking. Only reason he saw ice at all is because Kronwall got waxed, and now is said to have an "upper body injury." The third goal happened, and I wasn't happy about it.

Weiss scores on the PP for DET's first goal, then gets hurt on a legal, but lethal, check from that one guy. DeKeyser nets one in the second to keep the Wings in it until the third where Datsyuk makes me incredibly happy with a beauty of a pass to Z for the first goal in the third.  Which kicks off a streak of four unanswered goals where Franzen scores on his birthday (in more ways than one) and Tatar gets two for the frosting on the cake.

Merry Christmas, the Wings stopped sucking in the third, let's see what happens when they come back from break.

Jesus, this team is killing me.

Worst Thing I Could Do

"I could flirt with all the guys"

A recent road trip found me listening to the Grease soundtrack on I-69. It's been awhile since I listened to it, and despite being immersed in nostalgia, I found myself thinking, "Wow, there are some terrible messages in these lyrics!" Go back and listen if you haven't in a while. Wow.

Even with that thought in my head, I found myself identifying with a character I hadn't before. Rizzo.

"Smile at them and bat my eyes"

Not because she's mean to the ingénue of the story, not because she thinks she's pregnant, but because of some of the lyrics in her big number, "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" She is the only character in the whole musical that actually gives advice to apply to real life. Because, seriously? Saran wrap instead of condoms? No. Just, no.

I cherry pick a little bit when I think about this, but a few things resonate with me.

"I could stay home, every night."

Fuck that.

Sure, sometimes, staying at home is fun, and necessary to recharge, but I'm a single twenty something and the last thing I want to do is not go anywhere or not see anyone. It would drive me nuts!

If I want to go to a Wings game, or a show that's in town and no one can go with me, I'm going alone. You get to spend some time doing something you enjoy, with the most amazing person you know -- yourself!

I don't want to miss out on amazing life experiences because I didn't want to go alone, and neither should you.

Life is meant to be lived, and I plan to live the hell out of mine.

"Take cold showers every day"

Have you ever taken a cold shower? They suck. And they don't help.

This part is going to be sticky, so please bear with me. (Dad, you might want to stop reading here.)

Sex is the best part about being an adult. It makes up for a lot of the really shitty parts of being an adult. I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy it. With the right person, in the right situation, it is an amazing experience. It's fun, messy, and exhilarating.

I tried the whole waiting for marriage thing, and it wasn't for me. To each their own, and mine turns out to not be one person forever and ever. Since I'm fairly recently single, this is a tough one for me to adjust to.

I think this is where my personal philosophy is strongest. To each their own, as long as you are safe, not hurting anyone else, and are happy, live your life how you want to.

"... Throw my life away... That's the worst thing I could do"

I do the worst of my cherry picking of the lyrics on this one.

These lines are how I want to define my life. I don't want to live my life with regrets. I know that some parts of society will judge me for the choices I make, but, really, who cares what they think?

I know my limits, I am starting to learn what will make me happy. As a friend of mine says, "Can't stop, won't stop." Because I can't stop living life out of fear, and I won't stop living life and learning what makes me happy. I plan to find my boundaries and push them until I find the lines I know I can't cross.

I was not expecting to have all these revelations listening to a soundtrack from my childhood, but I'm glad I did. It's incredibly freeing to fully embrace who you are and want to be in the future, society be damned.

Because I Don't Shy Away from Tough Topics

As a woman in tech, I see news every day from woman after woman who has been verbally or physically harassed or assaulted at her job, conferences, walking down the street. I have many things I do to cope with that, and escape, but my favorite escape is watching sports. Hockey (Red Wings), Football (Lions), and Baseball (Tigers), in that order.

I love the Red Wings with my whole heart and soul, and the community that I have surrounded myself with on the internet related to hockey and the Red Wings is amazing. I have been especially fortunate in the last few months to find some really incredible people on Twitter, and some of those interactions have led to exchanged emails and other forms of contact outside of the world of Twitter.

You see, the group of people I follow on Twitter in my hockey list give me all the warm fuzzies. They're funny, poignant, and honest. I always have Twitter open when the Wings are playing, because I love watching the list explode with celebrations, thoughts, opinions, aptly timed photoshop jobs, and gripings about the Wings and the NHL scrolling across my screen. A friend of mine said it perfectly, "It's like watching a game with your best friends, every time." He's right, that's exactly what it feels like.

Despite this, it doesn't insulate me from stories like this, this, or this. And it's stories like these that feel like a punch to the gut, like I tweeted earlier.

Thinking on it, it makes me feel like I'm the biggest idiot in the world. Because sexism is everywhere. Though I try with hockey, I can't escape it. Especially because I'm a woman. I am immediately identified as a target simply because I have two X chromosomes. Even before the events that I linked to above came to light, I knew that sexism in sports was there, I knew. But just how bad it really is didn't hit me until today. It shouldn't have been a shock, because I've argued with men over the rules of hockey when they're wrong, and they don't believe me, because I have boobs. We look it up, and shocker! I'm right, but am I given credit for that? No.

I've had a cousin who doesn't watch hockey at all, asks me if I know who Patrick Kane is while I'm watching the Blackhawks play the Wings.

I've answered questions at the rink, and gotten looks of stunned disbelief that the chick in heeled boots knows what's going on.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I actually hesitated at the thought of writing this post, because I am afraid of the backlash. Terrified, actually. But am I any better than the author of the Jian Ghomeshi article if I don't speak up?

I also frequently will write up a tweet or forum post, or whatever, and pause before clicking send/publish/submit. Because a) I don't want to make an idiot of myself and b) if this is shared by someone to the wrong person, am I in danger?

The fact that I have to think about part b in 2014 is depressing. Everywhere should be safe. I should be able to rant about how terrible the reffing has been this season without wondering if I'm going to be told that I don't know what I'm talking about, no matter how right I am. I should be able to profess my undying love for Pavel Datsyuk and his incredible talent on the ice without wondering if I will be taken less seriously if I do.

That's not the reality that we live in. The reality is that I can shout back, all women can shout back, but shouting back can make it worse. Every morning we wake up, shake off the dust of yesterday's awfulness and hope that more allies come out to support us, that more people will realize how wrong they are in their misogynistic views. We tell ourselves it's going to get worse before it gets better, and at the moment, the outlook is feeling pretty dim.

Better days need to be coming, because right now, the weight of the world is on our shoulders, and we can bend.

Please don't make us snap.

What Not to Say: A Collection

There are certain times in someone's life where some serious shit is going down.

This is one of those for me. A few months ago, Adam and I decided to part ways. No details will be shared here, because it is not my way to air dirty laundry in public, but know it is amicable, and know that eventually, we will be ok.

Because of this major life event that is happening, I've had a lot of conversations with various people, and all of whom have had very different reactions. Dumbfounded, shocked, and stunned seem to be the most common. Apologetic, angry, depressed, are also common.  One very special person in my life thought I was joking, I reassured her I was not, then she joined the flabbergasted camp.

Everyone has their guesses as to why, but really it's no one's business. Coming through this has shown me that, even though divorce is much more common these days, many don't know how to speak to the person going through this, especially if it is amicable and no one has done anything wrong to make the other person leave.  This seems to be the biggest stumbling block for people.

Based on my experiences, here is a collection of things not to immediately assume or say to someone who is getting divorced. All of these things have actually been asked of me.

1. Asking if one of them is gay.

Amicable does not immediately mean that one of them is gay. If one of them is, kudos to them! But if the person you are asking is, and isn't ready to come out yet, you've just put them on the spot. You're asking them to trust you with a part of their identity that they may not be ready to share with you yet, if they ever do. And, given that you're asking them this giant question when they are already going through one of the hardest things they've ever had to, doesn't inspire much confidence in them to share that with you.

2. Affairs

As with many of the items listed here, it is totally possible that this is why a couple might be splitting up. But, again, it's none of your business if this is the case. If the person you are talking to is the one who has been cheated on, you're asking them to share something that is most likely humiliating to them. And, if you're talking to the person who had the affair, it's still probably not something they are going to share with you. Chances are that they already feel bad enough about it, and don't want to make it worse for the person they cheated on the next time that other person sees you.

3. Is it about kids?

Not everyone in this world wants to procreate, and that's ok. If it is about kids, that's about as sensitive a subject as you can get. What if they can't have kids? What if they lost a child and didn't share that information with you, but now, how do they explain it to you? They shouldn't have to. Now you've drudged up horrible memories for this person while they are already in a sensitive place. I know that's not what people are intending when asking this question, but you need to be cognizant of that before you ask if it's about kids.

4. I'm sorry.

You might want to apologize to them. That's a pretty normal reaction. Please keep it to yourself until you can discern whether or not that's something they actually want to hear. If it's the right choice, even if it's hard, and it sucks, somehow, you saying sorry may make the person feel like you're invalidating their choice, like in some way it was the wrong thing for them to do, even if it's not. The better thing to say here is to ask, "Should I say, 'I'm sorry'?" Then, if the answer is yes, feel free to say I'm sorry as much as you want.

5. Advice

Unless they explicitly ask you for advice, hold your tongue. No. Keep it in your brain. You may think you know, but you do not. You may think you're helping, but you are not. It is not your marriage, you are not in it, your advice is not wanted unless it is asked for. Period. End of story.

6. Asking for more notice

This choice sucks. This decision sucks. When you ask to have been given a sign or notice that something was wrong, you are making the situation about you. It is not about you. It is about the person grieving in front of you, asking for support. You may have wanted more notice, but it's too late for that now.

7. If the person says that they don't want to talk about it, don't.

If you feel the need to talk about it, ask the person's permission to talk to someone you trust about it, or go see a therapist. Respect their wishes. They are going through the roughest part of the storm, not you. You need to be there for them to have a shoulder to cry on, and for you to give your support to. If you don't think you can be supportive, tell them (nicely) that you don't support their decision and that they need to talk to someone else. It's kind of a dick move to say that to someone, but I would rather have someone say that to me than ask me eighty billion questions, trying to get me to talk about something I really don't feel like talking about.

8. Is there any chance of fixing it?

No. No. No. If there was, they wouldn't be telling you that they are getting divorced. Even if they end up fixing it, you asking won't make them think, "Oh, wow! You're so right! I can totally fix this!"

9. The right decision isn't the easy decision.

This decision sucks, even if it's a mutual choice to end the marriage, or if one spouse understands why the other spouse is leaving. It is a horrible thing to go through and amicable doesn't mean easy.

What someone who tells you this news is looking for is support, love, and understanding.

They're looking for someone who will ask, "What do you need from me?" or "How can I help you?"

That's what someone in this position needs.

"I'm here for you, whatever you need."

Walking in a Winter Wonderland...

Photo used under Creative Commons from Silver*Rose

We are coming up to my favorite time of year!

The holidays, the gorgeous snow, the happiness and joy of the changing of the seasons.

I love this time of year.  LOVE IT. I have a snowflake necklace, earrings, decorations. The chill in the air, sweaters, sweater dresses, snow angels, snowmen, and, most importantly, hockey.

Aaaaaaaand then last winter happened. Last winter in Michigan was absolutely horrendous. It has completely killed my love of snow. Which really sucks. Because as you can tell from the above, I frickin' loved this time of year.

I was really hoping that the despair and spite I was feeling towards winter in March would dissipate by November. Well, it's the first of November, and I am still thinking "UGH, Snow."

I am hoping that a mild winter is coming our way, so that maybe by the time fall 2015 rolls around, I will be more excited for snow. I miss being excited for this time of year.* :(

I am hoping that I am not alone.

*This doesn't apply to hockey. I am still ridiculously thrilled that the season has started. And, oh my god, did you see last night's Wings game?! WHAT.

Future Finished Basement Decor

Some facts to start us off.

1. I am a huge Detroit Red Wings fan.
2. I have a giant basement that I am working on turning into "The Wings Zone"
3. I have been in love with Datsyuk since I was 14. Not really relevant, but important all the same.

So, keeping those in mind. Here is my basement. Please ignore the mess, big storms here last night and I was trying to corral the dogs while we waited out the storms.

That's a lot of blank wall to fill, and it took some time to come up with the perfect idea. The winning choice? A team photo from every single Stanley Cup win the Wings have ever had, as well as a pennant from every one as well.

Which is a FABULOUS idea. (In case you were wondering) The only problem is that the merchandising really wasn't there for the first seven Cups the Wings took home. I could get into a whole debate about over-merchandising, but no.

I started my search for the pennants last year, and I gave up, well, today. But I was able to procure pennants for 1997, 1998, 2002, and 2008 when I started searching last summer. If pennants exist for the first seven, and you have one you're willing to part with, let me know. Please. I promise money and cookies of your choice.

So, after one last search this morning on the Ebay machine, I fully decided to put my mad crafty skillz to work. I've never been a whiz at Photoshop or Illustrator, but I thought I would try getting my ideas down digitally this time, before rushing off to buy felt to make these bad boys.

For those keeping track, the pennants I need to design and create are 1936, 1937, 1943, 1950, 1952, 1954, and 1955.  I want these to be as authentic as possible, so I hit up SportsLogos.net to get the varying logos as they've gone through since becoming the Detroit Red Wings in 1932. (Not familiar with their history? Check out a brief written history here)

Since I didn't have to redraw their logos, all I had to worry about was the font. I went with American Typewriter (I'm using CS4, which is also why there is white behind each pennant, my copy doesn't let me save as a PNG). It gives it a nice classic feel, but won't be an exact match to the font or fonts that the Wings may or may not have been using then. (This avoids heated discussions with people who have a greater opinion on this than I do :) )

For the first two (1936, 1937) I decided to use the logo that (according to Sports Logos) was only used in 1932-1934. I chose to do this for a couple reasons. First, I wanted to, they're mine and I'm going to have to look at them when I'm making them and hanging out in my basement. Second, variety. I wanted to have as much of the Wings history represented in my epic basement.

I only used the logo that the Wings used 1934-1948 once, for their 1943 Stanley Cup win. I'm not a big fan of this particular version, but, traditionalist here. Plus, desire for variety and complete representation, I included it.

With the 1950 pennant, you might have noticed that I went from a black binding to white. If you look at the pennants I bought, you'll see that there are three with black binding and one with red. Given that I have a solid red background for all of these, having a red binding seemed silly, but I wanted to keep the trend of three black, one in a different color. So, white it is.

In 1948 the Wings adopted their current logo and haven't changed since, with the exception of special cases like Winter Classics, etc. So the rest of the logos will be the same, but varying sizes.

I tried to make each one a little different, but wanted to keep it simple, since I will be cutting these out and sewing them down. I really like how they all came together and each have some spunk and individuality from each other.

I feel like I had a very productive day, getting these designed. Next step, getting enough felt and getting these put together. I am under no impression that I might not change or twiddle with something as I am making them. Because I frequently twiddle with anything and everything when I'm working on a project. Let's just hope that I don't screw it up when I do!

But, I mentioned earlier that this won't be complete without the team photos from every Stanley Cup team. Well, here is where the Ebay machine didn't fail me! I managed to find an 8x10 of every. single. Wings. Cup. team. YES!

I'll post as I make the pennants, as well as the final products as I finish them. Then, of course, the hanging of all the awesome on my basement wall. Which will be awhile, mold and water problems... woo!

Huge thanks to SportsLogos.net for having what I needed to make digital design much easier, and to Clark at DetroitHockey.net for his input on the designs, validating that what I thought looked good didn't, in actuality, suck.

I am going to go insane.

This latest knee problem is making it impossible to run and do anything physical. Even taking stairs hurts.

Not being able to be active is driving me insane.

That's the thing about getting in an active groove, you get addicted.

And now I'm losing my mind not being able to be active.

I miss yoga. And running.

AND EVERYTHING!

ugh.

Fitness!

Hello, friends!

A group that I'm a part of on Facebook that posted and asked what we do at home for fitness. Then I shared SO much, I thought, "Wow! I should make this into a blogpost!"

So I did, with some reformatting for the site!

Free things I do for fitness:

1. I run with a friend in the park.

2. We take our dog to the dog park.

3. I also do 25 of the following all in a row. Some of these I don't know the name so I make it up. Holla in the comments if you want me to clarify.

• sit ups
• crunches
• reverse crunches
• elbow to knee crunches (both sides)
• side crunches-both sides
• lay on your back with your feet in the air
• do straight up toe touches
• cross your feet do cross toe touches
• switch your feet and do more toe touches
• push ups.

There are also a couple apps I recommend a couple apps (I have an Android) that are good:

Running:
1. C25K - This app is really good for getting you started. It pushes you just enough that you're like, whaaaaat? I can't do that, but then you do it, and you're like, yaaaaay! The link is to the free version, but I think the pro version is worth it.

2. Zombie 5K Training - Just a twist to the normal 5K running app. Fun! There was a cost to the app, but I can't remember, I got it on sale after the new year...

3. Runner Academy - It's a podcast for runners of all types, and it's really inspiring. There's also a metronome to help you stay on your cadence. Full disclosure: the host is a friend of mine.

4. RunKeeper - This can be used for other exercise tracking as well, but obviously, by the name, their main focus is running. It pairs well with the Polar Heart Rate Monitors. One of the best investments I made was the HR monitor.

5. Polar Wear Link Bluetooth Transmitter Set (Medium/XX-Large)
Targeted Fitness Apps:
1. Daily Workouts (free) - these are all targeted to specific parts of the body. It's timed and they fit in tight schedules pretty well.

Abs
Arms
Butt
Cardio
Legs


2. Pocket Yoga - three different length workouts for three different settings (dessert, beach and mountain)

3. Headspace - it's a meditation app that I use. It's really a great way to help focus yourself. I recommend doing it sitting up though... I have a tendency to fall asleep.

Tracking/Rewards

1. MyFitnessPal - I've used several different free tracking apps, but this one is my favorite that is free. What they offer is fabulous for the fact that it is FREE.

2. EveryMove - this app is GREAT. You enter your activity and earn points toward rewards. Right now I am earning points toward a donation to Make-A-Wish. You can also earn toward jewelry, fitness equipment, gym memberships and other gift cards. It's pretty amazing!

Well, that's what I got, I hope it helps you out!

---*UPDATE*---

I can't believe that I forgot the #1 thing that I always have with me, no matter what I am doing, fitness or otherwise! My RoadID.

Sometimes bad things happen. And if or when they do, you are going to want to have ID on you, but it's not always easy to carry carded identification. RoadID fixes that problem for you. From their website:


As you can see, it's something personal for the company, and I fully believe in their mission and the ideals that they uphold. If I lived in Kentucky, I would totally apply to work for them. I just ordered a slim band to replace my sport, with some sweet badges to go along with it. I'll post a picture when it arrives this week!

This is not a sponsored post.

Awesome Sauce Tinkering

The things you discover when you noodle!

I have two gmail accounts and I have recently been using the second one a little bit more, such that, I have need to actually monitor it a little closer. For silly reasons, like people generally finding it rude if you ignore their emails and fail to respond for a month. (Shocking, I know!)

Although Google does have an "add an account" capability, that allows you to run two Google accounts in the same browser, there are some hiccups when it comes to using other Google services. I don't use the other services very often on this secondary email, so I wanted another solution that would do what I really want Google to do. What I want Google to do, is for a user to be able to use the multiple inbox feature to have multiple gmail inboxes in one screen, not just divide your inbox by labels, filters or what have you.

So. My solution.

First, I went into the settings[1] of the second email (example@gmail.com) and set up mail forwarding to the first email[2] (me@gmail.com). I also set up the forward to automatically mark forwarded email as read[3].

After following the steps to verify that I own both accounts, I set up a filter in me@gmail.com with the "to" parameter as the address of the example@gmail.com. This filter automatically labels all forwarded email and archives it as soon as it hit my inbox.

Make sure you select to apply the filter to however many matching conversations have already been forwarded from example@gmail.com, or you're not going to do an easy search based on the label/filter later.

Here is where the magic happens. Enter settings, labs, and enable multiple inboxes on me@gmail.com. You should look through some of the other really cool stuff the labs team has done. Like, ridiculous amounts. I'll wait. Ok, now, make sure you scroll all the way to the bottom and click save.

Then, go back into settings at the "Multiple Inboxes" tab and delete the automatic fields that are there and enter label:example in Panel 0. I want the second inbox to be below my me@gmail.com inbox, so I select that option and click save.

Then more magic happens. Click on "Accounts and Import." Then under "Send mail as" I added example@gmail.com, and verified (again) that I owned the accounts I was trying to send mail as. After that is verified, then a fancy little thing shows up.

You can reply from the email that the message was sent to. So, for instance, I get an email to example@gmail.com, and I get it at the me@gmail.com address through the system I just set up. I can click reply while still in the me@gmail account, and it will send the email as though I am signed in as example@gmail. Without signing into the other account. Ever. Brilliant. And, if you click compose, in the "from" field, it automatically enabled a drop down that allows you to choose which email address you want to send the email from.

There are still some issues to work out, for example, handling the email that is sitting in example@gmail.com, marked as read. I suppose it will have to be a learning process where I add filters for incoming mail as I get it, so gmail can delete it if it's X, or archive it if it's Y, but once that is all settled, it's going to be a nice little operation.

Another issue is that the only way for me to no longer see the messages in the second inbox for example@gmail.com that I have read is to delete the label that was assigned to them upon landing in my inbox, or delete the email itself, which I may not want to do.

Google does all kinds of awesome stuff, so hopefully they will come up with a solution for the issue. Or just make this work-around redundant by enabling what I just did with two clicks and a verification in multiple inboxes!

---

Speaking of awesome, have you checked out Google Keep yet? It's like Evernote and Google Tasks had a baby.

---

More awesome is the program that I used to create these screenshots, Snagit.

Full disclosure, Adam works at TechSmith, and Snagit was used for the creation of these lovely screen shots. The heinous editing is all mine, however, and I was not compensated in anyway for this post by Google or TechSmith for the use of Snagit or the plugging of their stuff. I just think it's awesome.

Whoa! Who's That Chick?!

Whew! It's been a bit of a whirlwind since I posted that I wouldn't be blogging for awhile.

After the break-in it was rather jarring and hard to calm down and be excited about anything.  But it was really easy to be upset about a lot of things. So here is a re-cap of the good and the bad things that happened since I last blogged.

After the break-in we were scrambling around to protect our identities because one of the laptops that was stolen had our recently completed taxes on them, as well as some other documents that were useable for stealing identities. We also had to clean up the mess they left behind, then the mess the police made trying to help catch the guy.

Adam had recently decided to leave working on his PhD full time and find a job. He was on an interview when the bastards broke in in February. A month later he was offered all three jobs that he interviewed for, and he accepted the place he was most excited about. I'm very happy to report that he loves his job and he can't imagine being anywhere else.  He can't believe that he's been there 6 months already.

In March I was selected to interview at a non-profit. At the end of March they offered me the job and I accepted. It is a great job, a new position, and I love it. It's a very small office but we are doing good work. I've been there for 5 months and I can't believe it either! We're doing a lot of exciting things and hopefully there will be room for even more expansion soon!

Around the same time however, we learned some bad news. My Dad had been diagnosed with cancer. Cancer sucks. They caught it very early and he's going to be fine. At his last check he was cancer free. So, he's been cancer free for close to four months now.

Once Adam accepted the offer for his job, we started looking for a house.  We found one, made an offer, then another, the second offer was accepted and after many issues with our loan officer being incompetent, we closed on a single story ranch house with a full basement in a suburb of Lansing on Adam's birthday. It is a fantastic house and we love living here. How we moved in was very complicated, because we had planned to stay out our lease at our rental house on Lansing's east side.

And then it was burglarized again.

The second burglary happened the Monday after Adam's birthday, which also was the Monday after we closed on the house.  We didn't spend another night in the house. We stayed with some friends in East Lansing for two weeks, and moved out the Saturday after the second break-in, and into a storage unit and into the sun room of our new house. The former owners were kind enough to let us move a bunch of our stuff into the sun room while they were still living here.  After two weeks with our friends, we decided we didn't want to impose on our friends for too long, because we weren't sure when we'd be able to get into the new house. So we moved into a dog friendly hotel near our new house for two weeks.

Thanks to my father-in-law, we had installed a security camera system after the first break-in and were able to give the footage to the police which aided them in catching the kid who broke in. I can't say anything else because the court case is still in progress.

It was a very stressful time in our lives and we are glad to be past it.

We've been living here for four months and I think it's starting to sink in that we get to be here, that this place is ours (and the credit union's) and we just can't believe it. We are close to being done with furnishing the house, and there are curtains and shelves up and as many candles as I can get in!


Unfortunately, during this time, I also learned that a childhood friend was losing her second battle with cancer. This has been incredibly hard on her, her family and friends and I am kind of in shock. You don't expect to lose friends when you're 25. I hope that she beats this thing every day, but I cry a lot about it too, when I'm not in numb shock. Cancer really sucks.

That pretty much sums up the highs and lows of the last 6-ish months. I am hoping to get back on a regular schedule of blogging, but it won't be 5 days a week. I also have to fix how this blog looks in Chrome on Mac, because it looks funky.

Hug your loved ones, and tell them you care.

Here's a cute picture of Tesla.